Matchstick Dreams
by egoistoh
Summary: Sebastian has an accidental, not at all appreciated, sex dream about Kurt and his life spirals out of control in this wet, uncomfortable frenzy even with the aid of his newfound friends.
1. Chapter 1

**1:39 A.M. / April 30th**

_Pardon the utter disregard of punctuation, misuse of capitalization, and horridly vivid profanity, dearest diary, but._

_um what thef uck i just had a dream A WET ONE NOT NORMAL OKAY LET' SMAkE THAT CLEAR about HUMMEL GAY FACE FUCKIGN I DOn'T EVEN Know HIS NAMMMMEEEEE KURT WHATEVER and it was him and his face and his body which was, here's the funny part, which was adorned in a french maid outfit ahah HAHAHA HA HA ISn'T THAT SOMETHING so i had a sex dream about fuckign kurtj fucking hummel ina french maid outfit,,,,,, agiaisnthe the wall might i add ah ha haah_

_Now, I will take a long, hot bath and I will not think about this any longer. Okay. Good. SHITtttttttkfkuckkkkkkkk_

/

Sebastian Smythe is having a horrendous day and he lets the nerdy little twink in his fourth hour know and understand this by making him cry within fifteen seconds of their interaction. He smiles after, petting the kid's stupid, red hair, and he feels considerably better. He doesn't even remember that last night- No, he berates himself, smile now entirely forced, no, no, no, stop right there. He attempts to regather the semblance of happiness he had just now acquired and comes up blank. And, curiously horny.

"Smythe!"

Jeff's ridiculously bright hair is the first thing he sees before Jeff's ridiculously bright smile. Both make him nauseous. Still, he stops and waits until Jeff shuffles up the hallway. He takes a minute to catch his breath before saying, "Dude, Warbler meeting in like five. I think they're thinking of a song they can back Blaine up with for when Kurt graduates or something. Come on!"

He yells that last part into Sebastian's face like it's wonderful news and it's not. In usual circumstances, Sebastian would very well let Jeff know this but now he's thinking about Kurt and how the Jeff's shoulder-bag has the same color theme as Kurt's french maid outfit. Great. Sebastian clears his throat and simply follows along as Jeff all but skips down the hallway.

On arriving at the practice room, he notices Blaine catching up with his friends and feels somehow incredibly guilty.

"Sebastian! Come here," Blaine says, way too warm for someone he nearly blinded but hey, and Sebastian has to restrain himself from blurting out all of his dirty, dirty deeds.

They slap hands and Blaine is sucked back into the Warblers' frenzy.

Sebastian takes a seat and suddenly wonders if Kurt and Blaine ever roleplay. He squirms in his seat and wishes he could please just die.

/

Tuesday morning brings, with its sunshine and kind of decent Lima Bean service, Kurt Hummel right in front of his tired eyes. He blinks up at Kurt's glare/smirk and his jaw sort of slacks, because you see, Tuesday morning brought sunshine but only around Kurt's immediate presence. Sebastian chuckles, delirious from the lack of sleep, and Kurt shifts back a little, his glare slipping from 'I despise your existence' to 'oh my god, ew' in about two seconds.

"Are you okay?"

Sebastian decides that Kurt and Blaine deserve each other. They're both idiotically naive and forgiving. Blaine made the Warblers forgive Sebastian and Kurt stood up for Karofsky, the closet case that molested him and then threatened to kill him. Fools.

"Perfectly fine, thanks for asking," he responds in the iciest tone he can manage, which turns out to be not icy at all, but whatever, okay, he tried.

Kurt's eyes are a ridiculous, bright, bright blue and Sebastian thinks he might weep to his electronic, non-comforting diary about them later. As long as his newfound... thoughts stay within the confines of his room, he's all set. Kurt is none the wiser and Blaine is his usual dopey, gentlemanly self. The disturbing thoughts about running a hand up Kurt's thigh, stopping at his ass, well. Those will continue to be very privates thoughts.

"You look like a dead meerkat that has been sprinkled generously with a dull sensen of fashion all over its very sad carcass of sad, dead meerkat," Kurt says, in an awfully chirpy voice, and Sebastian is for the first time in his life at a loss for words simply because he's so tired and Kurt is most definitely not. Which is unfair, just like everything else in this big, stupid universe.

There's a long, uncomfortable pause, during which Kurt looks guilty, like he thinks he went too far, and Sebastian wonders why Kurt isn't wearing speedos. Oh right, that's not real. That's just the sick, vivid dream he had last night. Oh, right.

"Well, see you around," Kurt says, hastily making his retreat but giving Sebastian ample enough time to stare at his ass.

**5:08 A.M. / May 2nd**

_I have taken up Yoga classes and Mother was very happy about this. She is, as you know, quite easily pleased. Father, however, glared at the newspaper and ignored our existence. Nothing new there. As to why I'm typing this out at this hour of the day, I woke up a few minutes ago because I didn't have a single dream last night or if I did, I don't recall it._

_So you see, I am in an exceptionally giddy mood so I signed up for Yoga classes, interrupted my parents' breakfast to inform them of this, and then I laughed._

_For two whole minutes. I stood in the middle of my room and laughed. This will be a good day._

/

He's having a bad day. Masochistically, he dropped by the Lima Bean to grab a cup of coffee, spilt said cup directly onto Kurt's very nice, very much designer clothes, and then spent the first two hours of school in the mall with Kurt, where he pointed at various things he did not think Sebastian could afford. And, then he made Sebastian buy all of those things with a stupid, pretty,dumb smile on his stupid, pretty face.

"Now, Smythe, repeat after me: I will not ruin things for Kurt Hummel."

Sebastian is distracted because Kurt was sort of wearing really, really tight jeans that technically Sebastian bought so technically he's allowed to stare as much as he damn well pleases. He grunts in agreement and Kurt clears his throat pointedly, hands on his hips and lips pursed. Sebastian glances up and then looks away.

"Well, tell Blaine I said 'you're welcome'," he says, raising a fist to sort of graze the general air around Kurt's shoulder, and he tries to maintain eye-contact as Kurt gives him an invasively sharp look.

"What's wrong with you?" Kurt asks, wrapping his arms around his waist in this nervous little motion, and Sebastian needs to get outside, breathe some fresh, Kurt-less air.

"Nothing's wrong with me, Wonder-woman. I just don't enjoy being indebted to little boys that could pass as elderly women."

He walks off with that, mock-saluting, and tries not to cringe at the way Kurt's hold on himself tightens and how his eyes dim. Because, you see, Sebastian Smythe doesn't care about either of those two actions and is now going to spend the rest of his day ignoring his friends and overdosing on coffee, thanks so very much.

/

Everything is red.

Sebastian looks down and his jacket is bright, bright red, and the lockers he's leaning against are red. There are abandoned, red pompoms on the floor where every alternative tile is, what do you know, red. His head is spinning and he thinks he might throw up if it weren't for this strange sense of victory in his chest. He just won a game. He remembers hard, affectionate slaps against his helmet and soft, blue eyes.

"Congratulations, Sebastian. You're a school hero."

His head snaps up towards the whimsical voice and there's Kurt Hummel, skimpily clad as a Cheerio. A girl Cheerio. He's smiling, his hands behind his back, one leg bent, foot flat against the wall behind him, and he looks so, so very pretty. His skirt doesn't do much to hide his smooth, pale thighs, and from the dirty look he's giving Sebastian, he supposes that's exactly what's supposed to be happening.

"Why, thank you," Sebastian says, smiling softly, and he cants his hips just a little to the side, feels satisfied when Kurt's eyes flicker down the catch the motion.

"I wanted to give you something for doing such a great job," Kurt says, looking down coyly, fingers playing with the hems of his skirt, "but, I don't know if you want it."

Sebastian grins and says, "Well, sweetheart, why don't you leave that up to me?"

"Come here, then."

He pushes off the wall and walks up to Kurt, looking down at him with a gentle expression. He runs his fingers across Kurt's cheek, watches with fascination as they color as though he had painted them, and he catches Kurt's gasp with his mouth. The kiss turns hungry right away, and Sebastian whines pitifully as he tries to press his body right into Kurt's. Kurt hitches a leg around his hips and Sebastian grabs the other, hoists it up, until he's the only thing keeping Kurt from falling.

"God, fuck me," Kurt says, moaning utter filth, and Sebastian slips a hand under his too-little uniform. He twists a cute, little nipple and awes at the sound it yanks out of Kurt, and oh-

_Jesus fuck_

**2:29 A.M. / May 5th**

_Well._

_So, Blaine telling me about Kurt being a Cheerio wasn't a good idea._

_Neither was looking that 4 Minutes performance up on youtube._

_Lesson duly learned._

/

It turns out that just because Sebastian is having some sort of crisis, Kurt Hummel is perfectly fine and spends his evenings cooing over Blaine and his stupid, adorable face. Sebastian spends those same evenings glaring across the table and slowly dying. Since Sebastian came out with his big, song-filled apology about everything he's done and since he expressed his deepest regrets about Karofsky's situation, Blaine and Kurt have decided to adopt him as their child.

Which works out great because now it's like he's having sex dreams about his pseudo-father. Because Sebastian really needed more motives to bang his head against the wall.

"Seb, haven't you been sleeping?" Kurt asks, his face scrunched up in concern and his fingers rubbing slow circles on Blaine's knuckles, and Sebastian sort of wants to lunge across the table to yank his hand away.

"I have, Casper. Don't suppose you've had the same pleasures," he says, making a vaguely suggestive gesture while indicating the two of them as though the thought sickens him. And, it does, but for entirely inappropriate reasons.

He looks away when Kurt smiles sweetly before turning to kiss Blaine on the lips.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, it's a surprising turn of events when Sebastian discovers he not only has genuine friends now but also a best friend. Turns out, Blaine is quite the friend when you stop hitting on him every available second. Turns out, you're supposed to tell your best friend everything. So, here's the problem. Ideally, Sebastian could discuss his recent downward spiral into a "Kurt Hummel has a nice ass" mindset and his best friend would guide him out, hold his hand and pull him out. But, as it is, his best friend is sort of dating Kurt Hummel and sharing information such as certain sex dreams would, quite unfortunately, make him not his best friend.

Whatever. He can deal.

"Seb, wanna go watch a movie or something? Kurt finally decided to take a break from organizing his things and all that," Blaine says without looking up from his phone and Sebastian really intends to decline. He really, really does.

But, what comes out is, "Sure. What movie?"

Sebastian never claimed to be self-sufficient. Or optimistic.

/

Kurt wants to watch The Avengers and naturally, Blaine smiles along like the stupid puppy he is. And, Sebastian is left standing in the concession aisle with Kurt while Blaine takes care of some hair gel induced crisis. Kurt wants candy. He tells Sebastian this in a hushed whisper, holding his hand demurely over his mouth, and Sebastian looks down at him in contempt.

"It's not the end of the world, Kurt," he says as condescendingly as possible and Kurt pouts. Which, hello, rude.

"I just gave Blaine this incredibly long, but well-worded, lecture about the misuse and abuse of sucrose products and how the candy industry is trying to lull us into being horrible, horrible human beings. If he finds out, I will pass out from humiliation. I will. Pass. Out."

He looks up at Sebastian with big, pleading eyes and so, Sebastian promptly laughs into his face.

"God, you're both idiots, I don't even know."

"This is a very serious matter, Sebastian. Hold your meerkat grin for other occasions, you imbecile. Now, help me sneak some candy in or I will scream in the middle of this line and tell everyone you tried to tarnish my virtue," he says in this deadly, quite terrifying, voice that makes Sebastian sputter a little. He's tapping his chest with every enunciation of every word, fingering at his collar like the unintentional tease he is, and Sebastian is agreeing grudgingly before he can stop himself.

Kurt squeals in delight, clutching Sebastian's arm, and drags him up to the counter. He snatches up two bags of candy from the racks and drops them on the counter while Sebastian asks for some popcorn and coke. By the time they pay for the food, Blaine is making his way back from the bathroom and holding his hand out for Kurt to grab.

They swing their arms as they walk to the theatre, leaving Sebastian with two buckets of popcorn hugged tight to his chest and three cups of coke balanced precariously between his hands. And, there is candy teetering at the top of the popcorn. He yells at the back of their heads and Blaine plays the part of chagrinned gentleman while Kurt simply raises an eyebrow. Bitch.

Blaine grabs the coke and passes a bucket of popcorn to Kurt, saying, "Kurt doesn't like candy." He adds, "And, neither do I," after Kurt pointedly clears his throat. Sebastian rolls his eyes.

When they take their seats, Kurt ends up in the middle, which wasn't the plan considering Sebastian was supposed to hide Kurt's dirty, little candy secret. Sebastian pretends to be regretful, and grins as he rips open a bag of skittles. Kurt glares at him so hard, Sebastian is worried he might combust.

He discovers that Kurt is inherently suckish at 'getting even' because when they're heading out of the theatre, he screams that Sebastian tried to grope his ass. Blaine looks fairly unperturbed, which is disappointing because it means Sebastian really could have groped Kurt's ass and there would have been no violent repercussions.

A couple ahead of them in the parking lot turns back to glare at them but he can hardly see because he's laughing too hard, falling over an equally hysterical Kurt. Blaine smiles at them fondly and Sebastian hates himself just a little bit more.

/

**7:09 P.M. / May 20th**

_Looking at the past weeks and the events I've encountered, I think it's safe to conclude that although I might find Kurt suddenly, unfairly attractive, I will not act on these feelings nor will I let them escalate._

_Blaine is one of the truest friends I have ever had. I think nearly blinding him was enough. I can't ruin something else for him._

_How disgusting._

_No one ever said friendship turns people into idiots._

/

His confidante turns out to be Nick, Jeff's less annoying counterpart, and amidst Nick's boyish smiles and accepting nods, Sebastian finds security. He tells Nick about every dream. Nick keeps a tally of how many dreams. Sebastian ignores that tally as actively as he can. It's system and it works. Usually by the end, Sebastian enforces that it's natural to be attracted to attractive people and Nick nods in this 'well obviously' sort of way that makes everything seem logical and good.

It's not exactly a healthy system, but not much in Sebastian's life is.

/

"You were on your knees with your hands tied behind your back? Man, Kurt has you whipped even in your dreams."

Nick is having too much fun with this and Sebastian thinks he'd make a horrible therapist.

"I hate him. He's stupid," Sebastian mutters, burying his face into his hands, and Nick laughs as he reaches over to pat his back. It's about as comforting as his stupid journal and he tries to melt himself right into the table. His face is smushed against the wood and his eyes are somewhat glistening with the sorrow of his newfound nightmares when he hears the musical voice that is perpetually taunting his entire existence.

"Well, well, Captain Snark. Having a rough day?"

Kurt is obviously much sweeter towards Nick, going as far as ruffling his stupid hair, and Sebastian is left with something horrifying like longing in his eyes.

"What's it to you, Sergeant Gay?"

Nick snorts, rolling his eyes, and Kurt flicks a finger at Sebastian's forehead.

"Oh hush, Smythe. I came to let you know that you are very cordially invited to my graduation seeing as Blaine will be dragging me to yours like the stubborn yet cute idiot he is."

And, with a flourish that leaves Sebastian smelling like lavender and other nice things, Kurt leaves the coffeeshop. Nick's meek little wave is answered with a 'Call Jeff, he's scared you're replacing him,' and Sebastian laughs as Nick's face scrunches up in confusion. It's comforting to know that Kurt isn't only twisting his world around his manicured, little finger.

/

**9:59 P.M. / May 25th**

_I guess it's unfair how I haven't informed you, dearest diary, about my happenings in the last days. You see, I've been too busy listening to Blaine whine about Prom, Kurt bitch about Prom, and then listen to their Fun Adventures from when they came back from the Prom._

_Being a Senor myself, I had to take twink-of-the-week to my Prom. My Prom was incredibly, quite impressively, boring._

McKinley_ is much more... dramatic._

_I think there must be _something_ in those god awful tater tots._

/

Blaine's topic of upset today is Kurt's upcoming departure from boring, boring Lima, Ohio. He's twisting his fingers into his hair, and while it's kind of cute, it's also very gross. They're both sitting in a fitting room waiting for Kurt to squeeze into some other ridiculous outfit and Blaine bursts into a long, well-rehearsed tirade about his woe as soon as Kurt shuts the door. Sebastian is kind of blown away by the amount of nonsensical words spilling from Blaine's mouth, so he's unable to put to a stop to it as quickly as he should have considering the well-being of the shoppers around them.

"Hey, hey, Junior, take it easy," he says, putting his hands on Blaine's shoulders and squeezing. Blaine takes in a sharp, stuttered breath and he looks two seconds away from crying. Which puts Sebastian in quite an uncomfortable position. See, if having friends is new for someone, then dealing with other people's emotions certainly isn't going to come easy.

In his moment of silence, Blaine seems to have regathered his energy and also his insecure thoughts.

"He's going to leave. He's going to find someone there in that stupid city. He'll start calling less and less and I'll become that clingy high school boyfriend that he laughs to his friends about. He'll hate him and I'll love him and it'll be the worst thing that could ever happen. I just-"

"Whoa, okay, shut up."

Blaine does with wet eyes and pouting lips. Like a puppy. Sebastian refrains from scratching behind his ears.

"Listen to me. Kurt loves you."

He pauses. Something inside him aches and he suddenly doesn't want to reassure Blaine of anything, much less Kurt's loyalty. He knows Kurt would never hurt another person. It's just not who he is. He's some sort of a saint that forgives tormentors, houses the homeless, and gives people advice that people don't take because they're stupid. He's that quiet, judgmental voice in your head that compels you to do the right thing and you ignore it right before you get yourself hurt. He's nothing at all like what Blaine is presuming.

"What's going on?"

They both look over to where Kurt is standing with his hands in front of him, winding his fingers nervously, and Sebastian realizes a beat too late that he still has his hands on Blaine's shoulders. He steps away, stuffing his hands into his pockets, and Blaine still has tears in his eyes. Kurt opens his arms up immediately, regardless of how close Blaine and Sebastian were standing before, and Blaine fits himself into those arms as easy as a puzzle piece.

Sebastian doesn't know why he hates them both so madly, so surely, for that one moment.

/

**4:09 P.M. / June 3rd**

_Kurt graduated today. Blaine nearly tore my arm off with his nails when Kurt got on stage to receive his diploma. They came to Dalton's graduation ceremony yesterday. Kurt gave me a reluctant hug which I in no way enjoyed._

_Father didn't show up. Had a meeting._

_Understandable, Mother said with a stupid, stupid grin on her face. Like if she can work on it hard enough, her love will mask his indifference._

_Whatever, I'll be moving out soon. I don't need them anymore._

/

Sebastian remembers dates to almost obsessive point. Jeff calls him OCD because Jeff is stupid and doesn't understand the disorder. Nick calls him Crazy because Nick is a good friend. The thing is, Sebastian has always felt as though memories should be catalogued to keep safe what really happened and what was diffused in by silly dreams or subconscious desires.

He knows July 6, 1997 because Daddy became Father. He knows September 7, 2004 because he fell in love with his Social Sciences teacher. He knows pointless dates and important ones and it works out beautifully until he knows April 30, 2012 as the date he started sexually fantasizes about Kurt Hummel.

See, the thing with systems is that once a gear shifts out of place, the entire rhythm is disrupting and you're left with unsatisfactory products.

/

Sebastian doesn't recognize the room he's in, but the way his hands are tracing the cracked wood of the dresser voices a sense of familiarity. He wakes along the room, glancing now and again at the bed in the middle that is round and surrounded by white curtains. There's a breeze that he doesn't know the origin of and the curtains sway beautiful, giving him teasing images of someone on the other side.

He smiles knowingly and steps towards the bed, gently pulling the curtains apart. Kurt's sleeping right in the middle of the bed with his legs curled up to the side. He's wearing Sebastian's shirt and nothing else. It's all pale legs and red, red bed sheets and the subtle green of the shirt.

It's perfect.

"Kurt," he whispers, leaning over the boy and nipping lightly at his ear. Kurt frowns in his sleep and snuggles further into the sheets. Sebastian breathes a laugh over his cheek, kissing the skin there, and grazes a hand up Kurt's bare leg.

"Seb?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Mmm, come here then," Kurt says, smiling softly and tugging Sebastian down on the bed until he's flat on his back and Kurt can wriggle over to lay his head on Sebastian's chest.

Kurt kisses him under his chin and whispers, "I love you."

Sebastian's heart stutters, soars, and he closes his eyes with a sigh of contentment.

"I love you too."

Of course, he-

Shit.

/

It's unfortunate that he runs into Kurt and Blaine the following morning and has to sit through hours of 'I'll never forget you, trust me, I love you, blah blah fucking blah'. It's disgusting how enamored the two seem to be despite the impending separation and the inevitability of failure in long-distance relationships. (He's working actively on ignoring Kurt's unrelenting loyalty and Blaine's ridiculous need to please). Sebastian means to cringe it off, pretend as though he's disinterested, but instead he finds himself saying, "I got into NYU."

Kurt's face lights up in happiness and surprise which he quickly masks with a smirk.

"Congratulations, Smythe. Didn't think you knew how to work the big, stupid brick they call a computer," he says, but his eyes are warm and Sebastian has a hard time looking away.

"Ha fucking ha, Hummel. Joke's on you though because we're going to be in the same city and in all of the city, I will be your one sole connection to, what the kids call these days, a social life."

"Guys, stop it," Blaine interjects with a kind smile before congratulating Sebastian in proper and telling Kurt he's lucky that he'll have a familiar face there.

"Kurt's moving in August. When are you gonna pack up?"

"Probably September. I'll have to visit, obviously, to get things settled and secure a decent apartment."

Silly to provide such unnecessary information, he thinks as Blaine launches into a speech about how, oh wouldn't it be fucking wonderful if you both shared a place, oh wouldn't it be economical and fun. Sebastian is hardly paying attention, has already agreed in his mind, and is currently wondering about the chances he'll have to see Kurt in sleepwear or any state of undress. He immediately quells the thought because wow, no.

His mini-crisis seems be in vain because Kurt adamantly refuses to share an apartment. He goes on to say how it would affect their friends ship negatively if they ever fight, how it would be uncomfortable considering the differences in the amount of money they each have at their disposal, and how it would eventually end in this big, messy showdown where Blaine wouldn't know which side to pick.

"And, we'll hate each other forever and ever."

There's a long pause following the rant during which Sebastian internally tries to justify his disappointment and Blaine stares, jaw slack, at Kurt's flushed face. It seems Kurt is stuck somewhere between 'I think I spoke too much' and 'I think I should say something else'.

Either way, Sebastian jumps in with, "Not that I'd enjoy this prospect, Princess, but I think all of those issues are merely weird fears of your own whereas I am actually quite secure with the idea."

Blaine looks at Kurt with hopeful, hopeful eyes, and Kurt reluctantly tilts his head, stating, "I'll have to talk to my Dad. By the way, he knows about you and about how you're gay so he'll be wanting to speak with you."

He flashes a falsely innocent and disturbingly bright smile and Sebastian tries to tone down how irrationally happy he's feeling.

/

**9:59 P.M. / June 13th**

_Seriously, fuck Kurt Hummel, this is getting out of hand. Fuck his stupid little shit face and his perfect fucking ass and his fingerless gloves. FINGERLESS GLOVES, DIARY. WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF WARING _FINGERLESS_ GLOVES?_

_That was awfully crude of me, I beg pardon._

/


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine is kind enough to give Sebastian tips on how to deal with the formidable force that is Burt Hummel. It's unfortunate that the tips basically come to: don't talk about Kurt and then talk about sex unless you're at least a state away, don't make jokes ( "Just don't do it. He hates them, and by default, you, for one crazy, stare-down minute.), don't try to find a common interest ( "He hates everything as long as you're a boy with even a little bit potential of like-liking Kurt, okay, just remember that.), and do not, under any circumstances, be yourself.

That last part is all special for Sebastian because Blaine is Mr. Perfect and apparently was totally kosher with starting off their first conversation ever with, HEY I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO KURT ABOUT GAY. SEX. So, all things considered, Sebastian is terrified yet weirdly mollified by the thought that Blaine buffered the path a little.

On the car ride to Hummel's house, Kurt insists over and over that he is, in no way or form, in need of Sebastian's help. Or, apartment. Blaine is smiling stupidly through all the haphazard muttering like he's content with just watching the spit leave Kurt's mouth with every unnecessarily sharp comment. Sebastian doesn't offer a rebuttal, simply glances over as Kurt grows more and more flushed by the minute, and concentrates on not driving them all into a tree. He understands that Kurt is one of those strange idiots that hates being in debt or feeling like some sort of a burden.

"Kurt, it's okay," Blaine finally interjects, laying a soothing hand on Kurt's shoulder, and he leans over as much as his seatbelt will allow to place a kiss on the back of Kurt's neck. Kurt immediately relaxes and Sebastian curses his peripheral vision.

/

**7:08 P.M. / June 15th**

_I don't know how Burt okay'd this. I may have said something along the lines of 'They have many gay clubs there, I'm sure he'll be okay' once faced with Burt's suspicious glare._

_Nick said this is a good thing because having Kurt close by, as a semi-viable option, will reduce the ~thrill~ of those sex dreams. Nick said I only have such... horrid thoughts because some part of me is upset with not having every attractive gay male fawn over me._

_I think I need a new confidante. Also, new friends._

/

Kurt makes a huge, stupid show of accepting Sebastian 'offer' with grace and reluctance while Blaine giggles over how he's so glad that his best friend and boyfriend will be at the same place. Carole and Finn seem to be wary of him, which is expected considering that little photoshopped picture Sebastian threatened Rachel with. Despite the obvious discord there, they're awfully sweet to Sebastian whenever he comes over. See, packing Kurt's things seems to be some sort of group effort. Everyone is constantly flitting in and out of his room with things and objects, all marked with sticky notes of assorted colors.

Blaine is the most frequent visitor. Which, gross, because each visit is somehow reduced to Blaine bawling his eyes out and consequently making Kurt cry. Since Sebastian seems to have a kind of vote on the things Kurt is allowed to take to the apartment, he is always there for these breakdowns. Lucky, lucky him.

Today, Kurt is trying to talk him into allowing his big, white lounging chair into the apartment. Sebastian told him it's awfully tacky and since then, Kurt has been ranting with this weird red flush on his neck and ears. It's so endearing that Sebastian can't find it in him to stop the insipid speech, even though it is quickly leaving sanity and entering a metaphorical acid trip.

Eventually, Sebastian concedes with, "Fine, we'll take it."

Kurt glares and Sebastian can't keep a giddy bubble of laughter from escaping.

"Why'd you let me talk for so-"

"You're entertaining when you don't get your way."

Kurt flushes even redder, eyes an icy, icy blue. "Excuse me, but are you insinuating that I'm spoiled? I hope you remember that you're the one with a big, fancy apartment in New York City and the big, fancy mansion with the big, fancy-"

"You're also entertaining when you get super defensive, Wonder Woman. Now, figure out how you're going to get that sofa to the apartment and we'll start with your vast, incredibly stereotypical, wardrobe."

Kurt looks like he might actually claw Sebastian's face off. It's strangely cute. Damn it.

/

**3:08 A.M. / June 20th**

_I think it might be time to see an actual therapist like my parents have been saying. Father thinks I'm not as ambitious as I should be. Mother worries about how much her attachment and _his_ alienation are affecting my long stream of unsuccessful 'relationships'. I'm just confused as to why Kurt Hummel is tormenting me in my dreams._

_Today, I dreamed about him for the first time in five days. This was one of the tamer ones where he was bitching about coffee and how I don't make it right._

_It somehow ending with me pinning him to the floor and whispering something horrifically stupid like 'I can make it right, Hummel'._

_My main concern is beginning to be my lack of suaveness in these idiotic dreams._

/

Once Kurt has everything organized and shipped, they decide to go up to New York City to settle everything and Blaine tags along. The city in its magnitude and promise seems to thrill Kurt as much as it disappoints Blaine. He grows more and more sullen throughout the apartment and city tour. Sebastian shoots him questioning looks as often as he can manage with Kurt thrumming with excitement next to him, thin fingers pulling at Sebastian's sweater.

"It's even better than I remember," Kurt says, sighing happily from where he's laying on the wood floor of their unfurnished apartment. At first, Kurt had been appalled by the size of the place, insisting that he couldn't possibly accept this, but then Sebastian had showed him the walk-in closet. Kurt came back on track pretty quick after that.

"Everyone seems so distant and rude," Blaine says, head titled back against the wall and eyes on the ceiling, and Kurt sits up.

"It's New York City, Blaine."

"I hate it."

Blaine closes his eyes and Sebastian is stuck between comforting him (which will probably lead to him saying all the wrong things and uncomfortable sweating) and reassuring Kurt, whose face has fallen. He decides on simply watching, because doing either of the two seems like betrayal.

"Blaine," Kurt says softly. He crawls over until he can rest his hands on Blaine's knees. Blaine opens his eyes and gives Kurt this heartbreaking look, like Kurt is slipping away from him and he just wants to memorize each horrible second. Sebastian suddenly feels like an intruder and coughs gently before excusing himself.

The last thing he hears is Blaine swiftly and selfishly breaking Kurt's heart.

/

Later, on the stupidly long car ride home, Blaine tries his best to justify his actions while Kurt sits in the passenger seat with his arms crossed over his chest and Sebastian grips the steering wheel too hard.

"You belong there, Kurt. You fit right in and it's this big, foreign city and I hate that. I hate that I know you won't miss Ohio. Eventually, you won't miss anything and you'll be so busy that you won't realize it. And, I'll have to spend an entire year without you, hoping that you'll maybe come home for the holidays. That maybe you'll love me the same and-"

"Shut up, Blaine," Kurt says, sharp and sudden, and Sebastian nearly jumps in his seat.

"When we get back home, I want you to grab anything you might have of yours in my room and I want you to leave. I want you to never call me again. I don't want to be friends with a selfish, childish asshole, much less be in love with one."

They're two hours away from Lima and Sebastian has never been more disappointed in his best friend. He chooses to ignore the silly, little burst of hope that blossoms in his chest because it makes no sense.

/

Apparently they're not done, because Sebastian is suddenly in the middle of some sort of domestic world war and Kurt is hurling things at Blaine's head. He had come down to offer Blaine support while diplomatically not commenting on the preceding events. He hadn't counted on Kurt following them downstairs and then glaring at a prom picture before picking a fight.

"Everything is always about you, isn't it, Blaine? In the beginning, you strung me along, forced me to take part in wooing other men, and then you kissed me because you were moved by me singing over a dead bird. You moved to Mckinley because of you. You couldn't stand to be away from me. Why? Missed someone fawning over your stupid mistakes and complimenting you? You made the Warblers about you. And, then you had to be the center of attention in New Directions, too. You nearly forced me into sex because you were feeling pathetic about your virginity. That was real swell of you. Oh, and let's not forget poor, tragic Blaine suddenly faced with someone actually taking an interest in me for once. That threw you off, didn't it? It was okay for you to flirt with Sebastian, sit quietly while he insulted me, skype with him, but God forbid, I exchange one-sided flirty texts with some random guy. You became distant because you were trying to get used to being without me. Who cares about how scared and alone and unwanted I felt, right?"

Kurt pauses to take a deep, stuttered breath.

"You're selfish and horrid and I hate you, Blaine Anderson. I hate you so much."

Blaine's eyes are wide and wet, his hands shaking around the few things he'd managed to gather, and he steps forward in this jerky motion that makes Kurt flinch and he drops his little bundle of things at Kurt's feet. He grabs at the front of Kurt's sweater and yanks him against his chest. He buries his face into Kurt's neck and sobs brokenly.

"Don't say that," he whispers and Kurt struggles weakly against his hold. He's crying too and it's so awfully breathtaking that Sebastian is suddenly in this stupid, stupid trance. He's pulling Blaine away from Kurt before he realizes he has moved. He's putting a gentle hand on Kurt's shoulder and advising them both to take a break.

"You're both angry and hurt right now. And, I think you've both said things you didn't mean today. Blaine, go home and sleep on it. Kurt, stay here. I'll drive Blaine-"

"No, I've made up my mind and for once, I can tell I won't regret it. I fell in love with a confident, supportive Blaine. Not this- Not this Blaine." He turns to look at Blaine. "You've successfully drenched my new home with one of the worst memories I could imagine, thanks. Please leave."

Blaine protests strongly, but Kurt is already walking up the stairs.

"Seb, is he... Is that true? That I do that?" he asks, shoulders hunched and eyes downcast.

Sebastian wishes he had bolted minutes ago, because he knows where Kurt is coming from. Blaine has always dealt with the overshadowing of his brother by overcompensating for it. He has always been insecure and childish and needy. Kurt is the exact opposite and at first, Sebastian had thought that's exactly why they were so perfect for each other. Now, he can see the rift and the inevitable crack.

"It wasn't going to last anyway," he says instead of confirming or denying, "You're not even sure that you want to go to New York in the first place. How were you going to deal with that milestone, huh? It's for the best."

Blaine is silent for a long time and then he sniffs before smiling weakly at Sebastian.

"You're getting really good at this friendship stuff."

It's warm and soothing and it reminds Sebastian of exactly why he's so hellbent on staying friends with this enormous idiot. Later, he'll chance Kurt's wrath and insult him until he cracks a reluctant smile. For now, he's content with slipping an arm around Blaine shoulders and guiding him gently out of Kurt's life.

/

**11:02 P.M. / July 5th**

_Fuck._

/

Nick takes a break from braiding Jeff's ridiculous bangs to pat Sebastian on the arm sympathetically and Sebastian eyes the two with disgust etched quite clearly, he hopes, on his face. Somehow, Jeff weaseled his way into these therapy sessions. Sebastian suspects it has something to do with Jeff feeling 'left out' and Kurt getting sick of dealing with Jeff feeling 'left out'. So instead, Sebastian is stuck with Nick's mocking advice and Jeff's weird, romantic spins on everything.

"I think you're being so out of character in terms of loyalty toward Blaine is because secretly, you feel guilty about lusting after his boyfriend. Whoops, ex-boyfriend. But still, I mean, understandable. What I don't get is... how exactly are you going to house Kurt while maintaining your best-friendship with Blaine? Blaine's a good enough guy, he's not going to tell you to leave Kurt on the streets, but man, do you see where this setup could get real... freaky?"

Sebastian thinks about spilling his coffee over his own head and he's sorting inching towards the idea when Jeff slams the table with an excited, "Oh, I know!"

"What is it, Jeff?" Nick asks fondly, shaking his head at Sebastian like, what are you gonna do, and Sebastian just stares back blankly.

"You're in love with Kurt!"

They're all silent for a minute before Jeff chokes on nothing in particular and Sebastian bursts into loud, gasping giggles. Giggles. He's been reduced to giggles, for god's sake. He throws his head back in hysterics and his stomach aches because what. The. Fuck. He manages to control himself but he breaks when he looks back at Jeff. He makes nonsensical gestures, wheezing, between them like he's trying to recreate the conversation, like he wants to point out the ridiculousness of it but can't find adequate words.

He stops short when he sees Nick sporting an actual sympathetic expression for once.

"What, you're telling me you've never had sex dreams about someone you aren't in love with? Guys, come on."

He follows that up with this fake laugh that goes on too long and seems to make Nick pity him a little bit more.

Whatever, fuck them. He thinks he'd know if he was in love with someone. Honestly.


	4. Chapter 4

Sebastian has a long, uncomfortable talk with Blaine five days after Kurt dumps him and the talk ends with Blaine actually crying and then trying to call Kurt. Sebastian has to wrestle Blaine's phone out of his hands and throw it on the shelf of his closet where Blaine can't reach. For all his good intentions, he ends up with a miserable Blaine and scratches on his arms.

"You have to give him time. He asked for time, Blaine."

"He said he hates me."

"He didn't mean it," Sebastian says and he knows that's true. Kurt could never hate Blaine.

"What if he did?" Blaine asks, words all whiny and pathetic, and he seems to be trying to suffocate himself with his pillows. Sebastian pushes off of where he'd been leaning against Blaine's dressing table and sits down on the bed. He wonders if it'd be inappropriate to cheer Blaine up via song and then wonders if the New Directions have some sort of contagious sickness that makes people insane.

Blaine's phone rings and Sebastian shoves a hand against Blaine's face to hold him a few feet away. He lifts the phone into the air and sees that it's Kurt calling. So much for time. He thinks about handing the phone to Blaine, letting him sweet-talk Kurt into compliance, and he feels light-headed.

He answers the phone with one last shove that sends Blaine stumbling backwards onto the bed.

"Hi."

There's a pause at the other end before someone says, "Who is this?"

"Sebastian Smythe and-"

"Jesus, Sebastian, what the fuck are you doing with Blaine's phone?"

"Wes?"

"Wes?" Blaine echoes from the bed.

"Blaine?"

"Wes."

"Shut the fuck up, Sebastian! Give the phone to Blaine."

Sebastian winces as Wes all but yells and throws the phone at Blaine, who fumbles with it before putting it to his ear.

"Yeah, Wes, hi. I was... What?"

Blaine scrambles off the bed and grabs his jacket. He makes wild motions at Sebastian to follow him as he yells into the phone about something Sebastian can't even begin to understand. Blaine gets off the phone when they reach his car and he takes in deep breaths before turning to Sebastian.

"Wes said they're at Scandals and some guy is hitting on Kurt."

Sebastian stares at Blaine for a good minute as Blaine sweats and sweats and apparently panics.

"Um, why did Wes use Kurt's phone to-"

"His girlfriend wrecked his phone when she thought he was cheating."

"What was he even doing at a gay bar?"

"He goes there all the time, actually. Aren't you friends with him?"

No, he isn't. Sebastian can count his friends on one hand, but fuck if he's going to say that out loud.

"So, the big emergency is that Kurt is acting like ... he's single."

Blaine's mouth drops into a pout and Sebastian has to work really, really hard to not roll his eyes. He sighs and thinks about how pissed off Kurt will be if Blaine shows up at Scandals like some sort of knight defending his lady's honor. He almost laughs out loud and has to quickly school his expression so Blaine's pout doesn't drop even further.

"I don't think you should go," he says and Blaine seems to take that reverse psychology because he clicks in his seatbelt and pulls out of the driveway. Sebastian stares at him with his mouth open and quickly grabs at his seatbelt when Blaine all but floors it. Honestly, Sebastian is really starting to reconsider this whole friendship thing.

/

**2:16 A.M. / July 15th**

_Well, I finally understand what people mean when they say it was a train-wreck they couldn't look away from. Blaine showed up at Scandals all glorified persona and dumb, dumb smiles. And, Kurt looked confused before he began to look very, very angry._

_He threw a bowl of peanuts at Wes and yanked Blaine outside by the wrist. The guy that was 'hitting' on him turned out to be Kurt's straight friend from New Directions. I don't know his name. He had stupid blonde hair and like this huge mouth._

_Apparently Kurt helped him out when his family was in trouble or something, I DON'T KNOW._

_The point is, I told Blaine not to do something, he did that very thing, and Kurt now hates him for everything._

_Last time I try to help, jesus christ._

/

Sebastian hasn't really hung out with Kurt one on one, like, ever unless you count that one time Kurt forced him to buy him new clothes, so it's fairly uncomfortable when they do end up in the same room with no one else to talk to except each other. It's Nick's birthday party and Blaine said he didn't want to come (one guess on why that is) and Jeff isn't around to diffuse tense situations.

"So," Kurt begins, coughing a little as he refuses to actually make eye contact, "Uh. Well, you. I mean-"

"I told Blaine not to go to Scandals," he blurts out, causing Kurt's eyes to meet his suddenly, and Sebastian refuses to define the tiny flutter in his stomach.

"Well, Blaine's stubborn on his best days, so," Kurt says, smiling softly.

"Yeah."

They fall into a weird but comfortable silence, leaning against opposite walls and sipping coke. The lighting in the hallway is dim, makes Kurt's eyelashes cast shadows down his cheeks, makes Kurt's eyes green, and Sebastian suddenly wishes from something a lot stronger than coke.

/

It's six in the fucking morning when Blaine decides to serenade Kurt in the middle of a coffee shop. Sebastian had come by today because Nick said he'd die without him. Overdramatic, yes, but Sebastian considers himself somewhat decent at this friendship thing so he felt like overachieving which led to this catastrophe of a performance. Really, he thinks Blaine ought have run this by him. Sebastian could have gently dispensed the idea, cheered him up, and helped him move on. The whole process would have taken ten minutes. That's it. That's all he would have needed to stop. This. Fucking. Disaster.

The thing is, it works out. Blaine belts out Hey There, Delilah like some sort of lovesick fool and Kurt melts into a pile of incoherent goo. It's disgusting, honestly. He really took them both to be stronger people than this. People with more self respect, at least.

_Hey there, Delilah._

_What's it like in New York City?_

_I'm a thousand miles away._

_But boy, tonight you look so pretty._

_Yes, you do._

_Times Square can't shine as bright as you._

_I swear it's true._

He supposes it's good that he was sitting with Nick and Jeff over at the corner rather than crowding in on Kurt's four-girl posse since Nick has to nudge him several times to fix his facial expressions. He's projecting ew, ew, ew, why pretty loud and clear. The Warblers suddenly pop up to back Blaine up all old fashion a cappella style.

_Hey there, Delilah._

_Don't you worry about the distance._

_I'm right there if you get lonely,_

_Give this song another listen._

_Close your eyes._

_Listen to my voice, it's my disguise._

_I'm by your side._

All the other customers are grinning save from the few weird glares (Not Sebastian, no sir) and the Warblers try to tug the silent trio in the corner up to sing also. Sebastian resists, but Jeff and Nick are pulled in easily. Jeff shoots him this look that's a mix of understanding and support and almost pity but not quite. Either way, it's comforting, much more so than the smirk Nick gives him. Blaine tugs Kurt out of his booth with the gleeful aid of Mercedes and pushy, pushy Rachel Berry. Kurt is grinning so wide it hurts just to look at him.

_Hey there Delilah_

_You be good and don't you miss me._

_Two more years and you'll be done with school._

_And, I'll be making history._

Sebastian hastily gets up, something unsettlingly hot tightening inside his throat, and he thinks it's unfair how Kurt spots him instantly, how he sports an awful, concerned frown. He smiles as best as he can, but Kurt doesn't seem fooled. Blaine is still singing, tugging at Kurt's waist, pulling him close, and the Warblers are a frenzy of red and blue. All he can really see is Kurt. Kurt with that soft looking sweater. Kurt with those delicate wrists. Kurt with that look like all he can see is Sebastian, too. Kurt with Blaine, God, he can't -

_Oh, it's what you do to me._

_Oh, it's what you do to me._

He nearly knocks someone down as he leaves.

/

Kurt is wearing lace garters, black and sleek, and Sebastian runs careful fingers along the vivid lines, feels Kurt shiver. He smells like shredded paper and beautiful, beautiful roses, and Sebastian's eyes prickle with the urge to cry. Kurt cups his chin and gently tugs him up from where he'd been worshipping his legs. He's smiling and it's so pretty and red. So perfect and sloped and not for Sebastian, not ever for Sebastian.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asks softly, dragged his nails every so lightly under and around his jaw.

Sebastian sighs and closes his eyes.

"Are you sorry?"

He shakes his head because he's not. He doesn't know what Kurt means but the very last thing he could be right now would be sorry. Kurt kisses him at the corner of his mouth.

"Are you so very sorry, Sebastian?"

He's not. He's not, he's not, he's not.

"Oh, you poor boy."

That doesn't sound like Kurt. He opens his eyes and he's in a graveyard surrounded by people dressed in classy, black clothes and he's crying. He can see his parents at his side, his father's arm tight around his mother, reassuring, anchoring. No one's holding Sebastian. He looks in front of him and they're lowering the casket.

It's his grandfather. He knows because mother wails, suddenly jerks out of father's hold and tries to grab the golden handles. He reaches for her, but he's too small to manage anything other than hugging her legs. He's pushed away when father and his aunt grab mother, guide her away from the ceremony. He stands there by himself with strangers around him with pitying looks on their faraway faces.

He hates him, he wants to say. Instead he cries and no one holds him.

Sebastian wakes up with a jolt, like he'd been falling in his dream, and it's a long, long time before he manages to falls asleep again.

/

**2:10 P.M. / July 18th**

_I never went to those Yoga classes. Bad move._

/

Sebastian is laying stomach down in his bed dreading life, scratching sad faces into the calendar for each of the fourteen days left until he moves to New York, when he hears a soft knock. He groans and shoves his face against the calendar, murmuring, "Go away." If it's his mother, she'll huff and leave a bowl of fruit on his dresser before leaving. If it's his father, he'll simply leave and later, he'll flash a 'I tried my best' sort of shrug at his wife. The last thing he's excepting is Kurt's voice.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, Smythe."

He lifts his head and blinks at Kurt before dropping it down again.

"Go away, Hummel."

"Unfortunately, I cannot. I've taken it upon myself to turn you around. Makeovers are sort a thing of mine and as your future housemate, I intend to make you someone easy to live with. Now, get up and follow me before your mom kills me with food. She will, you know. I can see it in her eyes."

For the welfare of his own being, he decides to get up and throw a pillow at Kurt's face. Kurt looks like Sebastian just ripped apart his favorite scarf and nearly kills himself on his hasty run towards a mirror. He fixes his hair and glares at Sebastian before straightening his posture and sticking that cute, little nose up in the air. God, what a bitch.

"What would this makeover entail exactly?"

Kurt smiles, in way Sebastian is sure he thinks is coy, and taps his chin with his fingers.

"Get dressed."

"I am dressed," Sebastian counters and immediately regrets it when Kurt looks extremely offended by his plain t-shirt and faded blue jeans. He crosses his arms and narrows his eyes. "Wherever you're taking me, you're taking me like this."

He most certainly does not stomp his feet and pout but, to be honest, it's a near thing. Kurt laughs and he hates how fond it sounds, how it feels like he's receiving something that isn't his to take.

"So... um," Sebastian begins as Kurt makes himself at home and begins picking out his clothes with a scrunched up nose. "Did you and Blaine... uh..."

"No, we didn't get back together. Your best friend is an idiot and deserves to be in the dog house for a long time before I let myself get wooed over by a song," Kurt says, eyes warm, and Sebastian coughs in an attempt to hide his annoyance at that all too obvious foretelling of how Kurt will eventually let himself be wooed. He thinks Blaine and Kurt are forcing it at this point, thinks he should let them know that high school sweethearts rarely make it through college, but he also thinks it'll help. His dreams of Kurt have increased drastically since Kurt broke up with Blaine and that is Not Okay.

"Well, lovebird, give me something to wear."

Kurt straightens the clothes he had previously draped over his arm and pushes them at Sebastian, who frowns at the outfit in mock disgust.

"Wow, I didn't think it was possible to raid a very masculine closet and somehow come out with the gayest outfit known to mankind. Betty, I do believe you have a talent."

Sebastian gets a hanger thrown at his face for all his efforts.

/

Once Sebastian has fully (creepily, let's be real) admired Kurt's Navigator, he asks, "Where are we going?"

He whines out the last word and Kurt rolls his eyes. It's beautiful out, one of those clear, summer days, and Sebastian tries not to stare at the way the sun makes Kurt's hair look golden and his eyes so unnaturally blue. He looks out of the window and notices they're driving toward the Lima Bean. Considering that's the last place Sebastian wants to be but he's not saying anything to oppose it, he supposes he can counts himself thoroughly fucked.

"I know Lima Bean isn't your favorite place," Kurt says and Sebastian briefly panics over the idea of Kurt reading minds, "but, I have one quick thing to do before I take you some place where they can cleanse your black, little heart."

"Build-a-Bear? Where you buy your clothes from?"

"Oh, I'm falling over, you are so funny," Kurt deadpans and turns into Lima Bean's parking lot. He parks the car and tells Sebastian to wait outside while he 'takes care of business'. He looks giddy, childish slopes of laughter and twinkling eyes, and Sebastian has this sudden, horrible thought: he wants to kiss Kurt Hummel. His face must show his devastation because Kurt's smile drops and he looks concerned.

"What's wrong?" he asks and Sebastian shakes his head, knows if he tries to speak now, he'll say something stupid. Or, cry. Either way, he'd rather not put a damper on something that clearly has Kurt excited just by admitting he has stupid, stupid kind-of feelings for his best friend's ex-boyfriend/soulmate/one-and-only. Kurt pushes though, presses a hand onto Sebastian's shoulder, and looks at him with deep blue eyes.

He looks down at his lap and says, "Nothing. Just... You can go do your thing."

Kurt hovers at position a little before sliding his hand from Sebastian's shoulder to Sebastian's face. The motion shocks Sebastian into looking directly at him and Kurt smiles.

"I'll be right back," he says, quiet and gentle like Sebastian's five years old and his heart just got broken. It's horrible and the best thing ever all at once and Sebastian thinks he should be up somewhere receiving the award for Most Pathetic Human Being Of All Time. Kurt leaves the car running when he gets out so Sebastian jabs at the stereo keys with vindication and some subtle need to feel pain.

Kurt comes walking back about ten minutes later with a box in one hand and two coffee cups clutches against chest. He glares at Sebastian, who belatedly realizes Kurt has no way of opening the door and scrambles out of the car. Kurt hands him one cup and the box once Sebastian's outside.

"Seriously, Hummel, I'm starting to rethink my level of comfort here."

Kurt just giggles like a vapid middle schooler and Sebastian shoots him the dirtiest look possible.

They go back into the car and Sebastian ignores Kurt's tutting noises in favor of opening the box. Inside is the weirdest looking cupcake he has ever seen. He glances at Kurt questioningly and receives a grin in return.

"Just take a bite," Kurt says, pointing at the fork stuffed at the side. Sebastian tentatively does as asked and wow. Well. He has the weirdest urge to make out with the black and blue pastry. He takes another bite, much bigger this time, and moans. Jesus Christ.

Kurt laughs, maniacal and toothy, and Sebastian isn't even bothered. That's how good the cake is.

"Has this been offered at the Lima Bean always?" he asks hoarsely while trying to shove some more magic, magic cake down his throat.

"Not yet. I know one of the workers and she makes new cakes all the time. This one she came up with a few days ago. I thought sharing it with you would lift your sullen little lost boy routine."

Sebastian can't even pretend to be offended, god. He wants to die, have this taste be the last taste of his life. Kurt pats his head and Sebastian has this crazy thought about biting his hand when it comes near the box. He's definitely losing his mind but if this is stop number one then he can't fucking wait for stop number two.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt tries to keep the level of fondness in his gaze low as he watches Sebastian all but make out with the cupcake. See, somewhere along horribly outdated pick-up lines and infuriatingly clever insults, Sebastian has somehow become a _friend_. It's a disturbing revelation, one Kurt had months ago when Sebastian sat down next to him at Lima Bean instead of Jeff and Nick. And, that disturbing revelation gave way to another, monumentally more disturbing one which was that Kurt found Sebastian... attractive.

Shivering, he puts on his seatbelt and fumbles with the stereo until his Beyonce CD is playing. Sebastian momentarily spares the cupcake in order to shoot Kurt a judgmental look which he ignores.

"Where are we going?" Sebastian asks petulantly through a mouthful of pastry and Kurt has a hard time believing this is the same guy that stuck up his nose at the size of McKinley High's lockers.

"Close your mouth when you chew, Smythe."

Sebastian mimics him half-heartedly before he starts working on the chocolate on his fingers. Kurt wonders if he should be more disgusted than he is.

/

The surprise is a premature birthday party for Sebastian. Mrs. Smythe called Blaine who called Kurt in this poorly disguised attempt at winning him back. When that had failed and after singing only got him friendly pats and kisses, Blaine decided to take the party planning seriously. The tentative friendship they've formed is much like their golden months of dating when they joked around and no one was insecure and no one was needy. Kurt is happier now than he has been in a long time. He feels independent, confident, and his voice doesn't waver when he tells his dad he'll be okay.

"Where are we going?" Sebastian whines again, sitting up straight when he notices they're heading toward Dalton Academy.

"If the surprise is high school, Kurt, I am going to have to murder you," he says, voice falsely pleasant and wolfish grin.

Kurt simply smiles back and tries to ignore the stupid flutter in his chest. He's not sixteen anymore. He's not going to let himself fall for another unattainable boy with some other unfixable personality flaw.

He parks the car, tunes out Sebastian pathetic whimper at having to leave the crumbs of the cupcake, and walks toward the back of the building. He sends coy, teasing looks over his shoulder at Sebastian who sulks and then strangely looks at him like he used to look at Blaine. Kurt's smile drops as he turns his head back in front and his heart pounds, all but bangs against his ribcage. He remembers the beginnings of his schoolboy crush on Blaine, remembers how it made him feel elated even when Blaine was doing something stupid.

This... whatever it is that he has for Sebastian _hurts_. It's nothing at all like anything Kurt has had to face.

He takes in a few steady breaths, musters up a grin, and looks back at Sebastian one last time before opening the door. Once inside the building, he takes Sebastian wordlessly through the hallways until they're outside the Warblers' practice room. Kurt had suggesting this location and had flushed red when Blaine has said it was perfect with this strange expression on his face.

"Seriously, Kurt, I'm going to-"

"SURPRISE!"

"Mother of fuck," Sebastian curses, hand flying to his chest, and a grin splits across his face as he takes in the birthday decorations. Kurt finds himself mirroring the grin and then promptly hating himself for it. The room is huge without the clunky furniture and Mrs. Smythe had some guys set it up in this unnecessarily fancy way, glass topped tables and golden rimmed chairs. It'd look like the reception hall for an expensive wedding if it weren't for the colorful, bright gold birthday setting on the middle of the each table.

Blaine walks up to them and pulls Sebastian into a warm hug that leaves Kurt weirdly content. He likes that Blaine still has Sebastian as his best friend. It has nothing to do with the fact that Kurt had been terrified of Sebastian having to pick sides and picking Blaine. No, nothing at all.

"Happy Birthday, man," Nick says, slapping Sebastian's shoulder and moving out of the way when Jeff engulfs Sebastian in an animated hug.

Blaine looks over at Kurt and his smile falters, his eyes drop. Kurt follows the move and notices his own fingers gripping the sleeve of Sebastian's shirt even as other people move to greet him. He hastily moves his hand away and busies himself with the food. Blaine comes up next to him as his hand tremble around a stack of glass plates that Blaine then grips. Kurt is forced to look up and his head feels light, his body feels _wrecked_, at the look in Blaine's eyes.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asks, fingers tightening around Kurt's on the plates.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine," Kurt says, harsher than he means to, and moves away from the table. Everyone is getting settled to eat the snakes and some people are playing with the jukebox at the corner of the room. Blaine wanted to invite all of the Warblers but Kurt thought that would make Sebastian uncomfortable considering he's not really friends with most of them. So, the gathering is small but warm, and Kurt lets himself be pulled along when Jeff grabs his arm and takes him to their table.

"Quite a party, Kurt," Nick says, this annoying superior look on his face that he seems to be sporting more and more recently.

"I can't quite take all the credit considering Mrs. Smythe is paying for it and Sebastian's list of friends is limited to about two."

"He wouldn't have liked it at all if you weren't here, so, I think you should give yourself some more credit."

Kurt gapes at him, neck flushing, and Jeff giggles into his drink.

"What do you mean?"

Nick smiles, the asshole, and refuses to elaborate. Sebastian is talking to Chase, probably Sebastian's only friend that hasn't been Warbler, and he's smiling that stupid smile. Kurt feels his throat tighten when Chase, college boy gorgeous with his dumb shaggy hair and dumb hazel eyes, lays a hand on Sebastian's shoulder. Chase is straight, isn't involved in Sebastian's wide array of fucks, visits Sebastian like once a year, and Kurt feels like an idiot. He looks down at the drink in his hands that wasn't there a few seconds ago.

"Drink up, Birdy," Nick says, smiling softly, and Kurt doesn't need to be told twice.

/

Of course it's no party if the Warblers aren't showing their pearly whites and tip-toeing around in their shiny shoes. Jeff and Nick prepared a little send-off song and Mrs. Smythe got a stage area built extra special for Sebastian's birthday. There are only about ten Warblers singing since most of them are either in college or attending summer school to get ahead like the little psychos they are. Anyway, the Warblers' regular uniform has been modified under Kurt's insistant screeching because really, red and blue performance with a white and gold theme? So, instead they're wearing white blazers with golden piping and white slacks that end with golden tipped disco shoes.

All the crazy things I did tonight

those will be the best memories.

I just want to let it go for the night

that will be the best therapy for me.

It's a refreshing take on the song and Kurt finds himself tapping along to it. He had contemplated joining in on the performance and now watching the Warblers stare and point at Sebastian with big stupid grins, he confirms his decision to not join as a good one. He doesn't want this melancholic beat pulsing in the background as he looks Sebastian directly in the eyes, thinks it'd be awful even without the music.

Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.

Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.

The Warblers are pulling people up from chairs and tugging them along in this carefree dance that leaves Kurt feeling about a hundred and two. He watches (with utter stealth, of course) as Sebastian smiles up at his friends and leans over to says something that makes Mrs. Smythe laugh. Kurt hates, hates, hates everything there ever was in this whole universe, dear Lord.

It's getting late but I don't mind.

It's getting late but I don't mind.

/

Somehow, as the evening progress, more people are at the party and Kurt suspects Jeff because the kid has five million and two friends and doesn't believe in 'gatherings'. Either way, the party has to expand over to the study room next to the practice room and Kurt is displaced. He's in the room full of strangers and no one at all stops him when he throws back glass after glass of expensive champagne, curtesy of Mr. Smythe. Who, speaking of, is missing from the party and Kurt wants to find him, tell him how much he's hurting his son, and wow, maybe that's enough alcohol for one day.

He gets up to his feet shakily, has to grip the arms of the chair he just got off of, and the room swims in front of him in a disgusting whirl of plaid and boys that think they've got swag down pat.

Feeling five seconds away from throwing up and strangely giddy, he staggers forward and would have fallen on his face if it wasn't for the strong, big hands gripping his arms. He blinks up at Sebastian's beautiful, golden face and laughs.

"How classy," Sebastian mutters, sounding stupidly fond, and Kurt wants to cry so badly, wants to curl up on the floor and _weep_. Instead, he lets alcohol fuel him, lets it give him courage, and he's suddenly pressing forward, curling his arms around Sebastian's shoulders and pressing his face against Sebastian's neck.

An uncomfortable 'um' is the only form of protest and Kurt stretches up on his tip-toes to hug Sebastian even tighter. He's probably going to regret this tomorrow morning, is kind of regretting it right now, but for the moment, he lets himself sigh softly, feel all of that hard muscle, soak in that faint musky scent. He closes his eyes when Sebastian's arms come up around his waist. There are at least two dozen rowdy boys around them, the music is horrible, Sebastian is sweating, and yet, Kurt can't think of anywhere else he'd rather be.

"Kurt," Sebastian whispers and it sends Kurt stumbling back, stuttering out apologizes. Someone catches him from the back and the soothing voice is Nick's, Kurt knows that, but all he can focus on is Sebastian's green, green eyes. And, how they look so wonderfully hesitant, so unfairly hooded.

"I got him," Nick says and Sebastian's hand shoots out toward Kurt, gets stuck mid-air. There's a horrible second where none of them move and some sort of decision is being made that has Sebastian lowering his hand and Nick tugging Kurt away. He doesn't want to go, thinks he'd much rather brave more humiliation, but Nick's grip is firm and tight and makes Kurt wince as he's turned around. Nick loops an arm around to grab him under the elbow and grabs his other elbow too, all but shuffles Kurt out like he has no use of his legs.

/

It's chilly outside, that cool July breeze, and Kurt shivers. Nick sits him down on a parking block, tells him to hold on to the cement with both hands so he doesn't topple over, and runs back into the building. He's out in ten seconds with Jeff tailing him and Kurt feels like a horrible person.

"Come on, bud," Nick says, fingers gentle and cold against Kurt's neck, and Jeff sits down next to him. "Just hold on until I get the car, okay?"

Kurt manages a weak nod and then buries his face in his hands. Jeff rubs soothing circles against his back and Kurt sort of wants to disappear, wants to go back to simpler times when all he was afraid of was New York City.

"What's wrong?" Jeff asks, whispering even though there isn't anyone else in the parking lot.

"Everything," Kurt blurts out before he can help it, "Everything's wrong. My ex-boyfriend refuses to let me be his friend. I know his best friend better than he does. I'm going to leave in a few days and everything is a mess and I don't know what I'll come back to when I visit. And, it shouldn't be this scary, but it is and I need a friend and everything's wrong."

He twists his fingers up through his hair and tries not to cry.

"You do have a friend. Two of them."

Kurt lifts his head to smile at Jeff and then hugs him. They both blink as headlights shoot across their faces and Nick sounds the horn. Jeff gives him a hand up and Kurt thinks, for the first time in weeks, that maybe he'll be just fine.

/

_Thanks for the party, Betty. I know Blaine can't organize things for shit._

Kurt stares at his phone for what feels like years trying to think of a way to respond. The greasy hangover breakfast that Finn swore up and down helped with the effects ( "Like it helps with the throwing up thing, you know." ) looks tempting enough to smack his face into. Sebastian has obviously chosen not to give Kurt hell for the weird hug and this is one of his nicest texts yet. For some idiotic reason, 'Betty' is sort of a fond nickname in Sebastian's eyes and Kurt isn't even bothered. Dear god, Kurt is losing his mind.

_Anytime_, Kurt types out before almost breaking a nail deleting it. 'Anytime' sounds like 'No, really, I'd do anything for you, text me always, xoxo,' and Kurt would rather not, thank you very much.

He settles for, _Don't mention it_, and he means it. He would love to forget that he threw a birthday party for Sebastian Smythe in a way that showcased exactly how well he knows him. Too well, really. Mrs. Smythe had looked at him weird every time he had supplied useless information about Sebastian and after a while, her green eyes had sparked with that same irritating, knowing look Jeff wears 24/7. Kurt had sort of wanted to yank her beautiful, black hair to the ground while yelling, "Whatever you're thinking, stop thinking it!" like a deranged fiend.

_How'd you know I love lettuce wraps?_

Kurt contemplates lying and saying Blaine mentioned it or something, but then he thinks about Sebastian finding out that Blaine didn't even know and sort of panics. He decides to just say,_ Lucky guess_, and wonders if there are any nice, clean cliffs nearby.

/

They have to meet up at the airport, obviously, so Kurt avoids Sebastian for his remaining days at Lima, Ohio and regrets it when they do meet up at the airport. Blaine has spent the past few days finding ridiculous excuses to hang around Kurt's house (inadvertently undermining all of Kurt's other friends) and he's also here to 'see Kurt off'. The Hummel/Hudson household seems to be silently encouraging Kurt to make up with Blaine, so Kurt deftly ignores them and tries not to cringe when Mr. Smythe doesn't even show up at the airport.

"He's busy, sweetheart. He tried so hard to make it," Mrs. Smythe says, all kind eyes and gentle hands. Sebastian doesn't seem fazed, is standing with his arms crossed and his foot tapping impatiently.

"Pack it up, Hummel, we'll miss our flight," he says with no actual bite.

Kurt rolls his eyes and hugs his dad, who grips him tight and lifts him clean off the floor. He laughs against his dad's hat and pushes away to pull Carole in. Finn hugs them both and soon they're all hugging each other in this bundle of kinship that leaves Blaine uncomfortable. When he moves away and pulls Blaine in before he can twiddle his thumbs and scuff his toes.

"You're my best friend," he whispers, feels Blaine's fingers press against his spine.

"I know," Blaine whispers back and he presses a kiss against Kurt's temple as they move apart. "Go show New York who's boss."

He flashes Kurt a watery grin that makes Kurt want to hug him again but Sebastian is pulling at his sleeve and hugging his mother goodbye. Mrs. Smythe also pauses to cup Kurt's cheek and Kurt nearly knocks her over with his hug.

"Honestly, Kurt, I am-"

"Fine, I'm coming."

He waves at everyone, holds back tears as hard as he can, and mentally captures them all just like this, locks up the image in his heart and turns around.


	6. Chapter 6

It's seven in the evening and Sebastian is in a palace, all beautiful architecture and marble corridors and sun-kissed pillars. White and gold. Regal. Sebastian knows his way, is winding past empty hallways and blinking at the sunset with a smile on his face. He stops at two large, antique doors that give way only when he pushes hard enough, and he's in a spacious room that looks like something out of Aladdin. Straight ahead is a beautiful dresser and perched right in front of it is a beautiful boy. It's Kurt, of course it is, and he's powdering his face while looking critically at his reflection. He's wearing a simple black corset with red ribbons that wind hopelessly across his back and flutter past his cushioned stool. Instead of incasing his entire torse, the leather stops as soon as it hugs around his chest and it's held together by the ribbons, his pale skin a stark contrast.

"Do come in, Mr. Smythe. You've paid for the privilege."

Kurt's voice is taunting, beautiful, and so very indifferent as his fingers pause over his skin and pulls.

"I fear I'm losing my virility," he says, pouting even as a smirk plays at his lips, and Sebastian walks up behind him. He slides a hand over Kurt's shoulders, across his collarbone, and up to grip his chin. He tilts Kurt's head to the side and tugs it up to place a kiss on his stained red lips.

There's a pause during which Kurt's fingers hover over the exact spot Sebastian kissed and Sebastian's mind zigs impatiently with, mine, mine, mine. Like it's stuck on it. Like it believes it.

Kurt's no one's.

Kurt's a whore. A seducer with pretty blue eyes that never tell the truth and skinny knees that only look good when he's on them. Kurt has a lie for every mine Sebastian can think up.

"You're beautiful," Sebastian says because he's not a liar and Kurt basks in it, always does, as though it's his first time hearing it.

"You flatter me, Mr. Smythe. How do you want me?"

"How can I have you?" Sebastian asks, watches Kurt's reflection with rapt attention as Kurt tries to laugh his question off.

"Any way you want to," he croons, smiling that fake smile.

Liar, liar, liar, Sebastian's mind insists, but the words get clouded when Kurt gets up and bends over the dresser. The ribbons of his corset slip over his lace-covered ass and Sebastians wants to-

/

**6:08 A.M. / August 2nd**

_Kurt unpacked yesterday and carefully placed each outfit on every available flat surface. He owns about ten kinds of corsets, so really, my subconscious can go fuck itself._

/

The first morning is uncomfortable partially due to Sebastian's lingering sex dream and Kurt's inaptitude of all things social. So, they awkwardly work around each other as Kurt prepares an elaborate breakfast with the food he made Sebastian buy during their drive to the apartment. Sebastian opens up a book he didn't get to finish on the flight and then he's uncomfortable on a whole new level. If anyone walked in, they'd think Kurt and him are a couple. There is an awfully unfair ease in their domesticity that Sebastian craves and despises all at once.

Luckily, the phone rings and he nearly scrambles across the counter to grab it.

"Sebastian?"

"Hi, mom," Sebastian says, rolling his eyes but he knows he's not fooling Kurt.

"Hi, sweetheart! How's everything going, darling?"

"Great, mom. Everything's unpacked."

He wants to ask if dad's any different, if he even said his name since he left, but he knows that'll upset her and he hates upsetting her. So, he smiles hard enough to hurt and churns out one bullshit, flowery detail after another until Kurt turns the stove off and glares at him. He butters up the goodbye and when he stops smiling, his cheeks ache.

"Sebastian, you don't need to do that. She knows how you-"

"Yeah, thanks but no thanks, Betty. If sentimental chitchat is going to be part of every morning, I'm going to have to plead the fifth."

He flashes the douchiest grin he can manage just to see Kurt's face scrunch up in pure, unfiltered disgust. God, he loves- Stop right there, tiger. Sebastian is, by nature, a careful man. He doesn't plan things out last minute, no. He's got a fucking calendar. He knows when Kurt's 'rent' (Kurt could never actually afford the real rent so Sebastian maybe lied a little, whatever) is due. He knows when school starts and when the last day to drop a class is. He knows shit. It's sort of a thing.

So, it's only natural that he knows how fucking screwed he is.

/

They have almost a month before school and Kurt's program start so they decide to hit up all the tourist sites just for the hell of it. Sebastian has frequented NYC many times so Kurt sort of trails behind him with eager smiles and a bright, wool coat for every day of the week. Sebastian manages to drag Kurt to China Town where Kurt nearly has a stroke because some old asian lady with an umbrella quietly asks if he wants to buy a bag. It's way more endearing than it should be, honestly.

Somewhere along the touring and the walking and the laughing, Kurt and Sebastian have taken to holding hands, which, if you ask Sebastian, is pretty fucking weird. He doesn't say anything about it, though, and Kurt doesn't seem bothered as he squeezes Sebastian's hand every time he gets excited. So, he lets it sit and boil and reheat until, one day. His palm starts to sweat, he feels dizzy with the urge to pin Kurt against the dirty, dirty walls of New York City, and he has to hastily pull away.

Kurt frowns at him, mouth still stuck on a soft smile, and looks down at his empty hand like he can't even fathom what Sebastian's issue is. He shrugs and wipes his palm on his (fucking tight as shit, why) jeans and keeps walking.

Sebastian is seriously going to cry.

/

**8:23 P.M. / August 15th**

_Blaine called yesterday and fumbled around the subject for an hour until finally asking me if he could talk with Kurt. Which, well._

_I mean, I love Blaine and he's a great friend, but really._

_Still, being the winsome bud I am, I chanced it and Kurt almost cut my face off with a knife and our salad is now on the kitchen floor._

_So._

/

One week away from class, Kurt makes nice with the apartment in front of them and invites the guy over. Kazem Jafari is moviestar gorgeous with his ruffled brown hair and pitch black eyes and full lips. He's also weirdly polite, obviously from a wealthy family, and kind of dazzled by Kurt.

In conclusion, he's a fucking asshole.

He also happens to know all the good clubs of New York and has an 'in' at every goddamn place they go. Kurt is giddy and vibrant and way too innocent for this lackluster city and it sort of bothers Sebastian that Kazem seems to understand that, too. Whatever, he hopes the two giggling morons are happy together.

/

Kazem is a great guy honestly. The best.

"Dude."

His voice is super nice, too.

All deep and smooth and-

"Dude, Sebastian, seriously."

His face is a bit vague at the moment but Sebastian is sure it's great just like the rest of him.

"Yeah, yeah, you're cute, too, bud. Now, let's get you home."

"Sebastian! Stop pawing on our new friend, you imbecile!"

That's Kurt. He's pretty sure it is because no one can scream his name in that pitch and still sound intimidating. Sebastian tries to curl up into Kazem's nice smelling chest and is yanked out of his comfort when a hand connects with the back of his hand in one hard as fuck slap.

"Ow," he mutters and Kazem's chest shakes with laughter.

Wow, asshole.

/

**time iDo es'tn mATTER.**

_the clubjs kAem took us ot was ncie_

_krut is a fuckign idoiit_

_and prettyfhij_

_ahha_

_fukc_

/

Sebastian is pretty sure Kurt is the kind of guy that would want to celebrate their first hangover in New York, mark the calender, take a love shot with asprin, etc. Turns out, Kurt is the kind of guy that almost kills you when you offer him a glass of water and grumbles nonsensical things (which Sebastian thinks if he listened hard enough to, he'd be able to make out some pretty elaborate murder schemes) and refuses to wear anything other than an oversized shirt and satiny boxers.

So, basically, Sebastian's life sucks.

"Want an asprin?"

He keeps his voice low and soft and gentle, so he's thrown off when Kurt twists a hand into his hair and rasies his head to glare at him. He's pretty sure Kurt growls at him, too, so he just decides to stay low and not get killed. Which, somehow pisses Kurt off even more because he mutters, "This is all your fault."

"Ha ha, okay."

He says it just like that, all cheerful and saying 'ha' as an actual word and saying 'okay' like he's talking to a kid. This turns out to be a Very Bad Move.

"I'm going to scratch my name into your leather boots."

"Betty, honestly, I did not offer you a drink once. How is this my fault."

"Everything is always your fault," Kurt grumbles as he drops his head gently and slowly into his hands. He rolls his head and groans and Sebastian tries not to laugh.

/

Kurt is an obsessive cleaner when he's nervous. He's only a little bit less obsessive when he's not nervous so it's not anything Sebastian isn't prepared for. Kurt signed up for classes about two weeks ago while they were still in Ohio and he has had his outfit picked out for the first day of school even sooner than that. What he's actually nervous about is New York City and its dizzying noises and vibrant colors and not-Lima-ness.

"You'll be fine," Sebastian says in a voice he hopes is sincere but is clearly not because Kurt is hurling a piece of toast at his face.

/

New York University is fucking huge, that's the first thing. Second, it's really just like. Massive. But, it's also beautiful and Sebastian already loves it even though his first class is English and he has to 'introduce' himself, talk about his 'hobbies'. He can't decide if he hates the teacher's weird, unplaceable accent or not. What he knows for certain is that the bored looking guy next to him is going to be his new best friend. Blaine will just have to deal.

"Hi," he says, oozing unrelenting charm as per usual, and the guy pushes back his beanie and watches Sebastian through murky, brown eyes.

"Hey," the guy says, offering his hand, "Brendan Jones."

The teacher is cheerfully tackling the syllabus and Sebastian grins as Brendan puts his hand on top of head to slide his beanie almost halfway down his face.

"Sebastian Smythe."

"Nice to meet you, man."

They talk during the 'bonding' exercises the teacher employs and Sebastian learns that Brendan is majoring in Economics, plans to go to medical school, and is a photography fanatic on the side. He has two cats, one girlfriend, and all the seasons of 'Avatar: the Last Airbender' on DVD. In short, he's perfect and ten million times better than Kazem Fucking Jafari.

Universe: 2039438. Sebastian: 1.

Score.

/

Sebastian's classes end at three and Kurt's end at two so when he gets home, he's sort of expecting lunch and is greeted instead by a distraught Kurt attempting to break the microwave. Sebastian grabs Kurt's hand before he can wreck his fingers against the buttons and tugs him away from the expensive appliances. Kurt sort of grumbles, digging his nails into Sebastian's skin, and then breaks into sudden, incredibly unattracive tears. Sebastian immediately sits them down on the couch and that's as far as he gets before Kurt starts wailing.

You see, as wonderful of a person Sebastian is, he is quite incompetent when it comes to handling other people's emotional distress and he can't really be blamed for simply patting Kurt on the head while making vaguely disturbing shushing noises.

"Stop touching my hair, Sebastian!" Kurt screeches, slapping his hand away and then his face crumbles again, leaving Sebastian with an actual lapful of a tall, skiny, and pale trainwreck. He rolls his eyes, thinks about calling Kazem over to deal with this shit, and ends up basically holding Kurt close while trying to squirm closer to the tv remote.

"Everyone was so good," Kurt mumbles into Sebastian's shirt (it should be noted that said shirt if quite expensive, one of his favorites, and currently covered with snot), "I'm not. I'm from Lima. These kids looked at me like I set a Michael Kors handbag collection on fire for the fun of it and ran around it naked while screaming at the sky. Or something."

Sebastian is pretty sure Kurt is-

"I'm overreacting, aren't I?"

Well, look at that. The lad's smart as-

"I should just go home. Take over dad's garage and die surrounded by well-meaning but poorly-dressed people."

Alright, then.

"Listen to me, Kurt. Are you listening?"

Kurt nods, bumps his head right into Sebastian's chin. He sucks in a gasp of pain as his teeth clink together, clenches his jaw because being a friend to someone you have vaguely sexual dreams about regularly is hard, and shifts because his legs are kind of numb right now.

"You're talented, Betty, and that's a fact. Listen, those kids in there had to work just as hard as you to get it and they're just as insecure as you are. So, all you can do is prove yourself to them by continuing the work hard and being you. Stay fresh, aight?"

The last part squeezes out a huff of laughter and Sebastian smiles fondly before he can stop himself.

/

**8:15 P.M. / September 4th**

_Brendan lives two blocks down and wanted to meet my boyfriend. I don't have one, I said and he was all, Who'S KURT THEN?_

_WHAT EVEN WOULD GIVE HIM THE PREPOSTEROUS IDEA._

_WHAT._

_I think I'm going to limit my companionship with Brendan, diary. He seems entirely too stupid._

/

Kurt calls home every weekend. If that wasn't already annoying enough, he also makes Sebastian talk to his family because apparently Burt thinks Sebastian deserves a positive father figure and Carol thinks he's just the sweetest boy in all of the galaxies. Sebastian thinks they can go fuck themselves, but fuck if he's going to say that out loud with Kurt about two inches away from the knife storage block.

"How are you, darling? Settling in okay?"

You'd think after a month of asking that question Carol would understand that he's doing just fine, god damn it.

"Yes, everything is great, Mrs. Hummel, thank you."

"Take care of Kurt, make sure he eats, for goodness sake."

Sebastian's stomach clenches with unwanted worry and he shakes his head when Kurt nods up in query as Sebastian's smile fades.

"I will, Mrs. Hummel. Don't worry."

"Well, aren't you just the sweetest boy in-"

"Listen, Smythe, you're a great kid and if you want to... pursue Kurt or whatever, that's cool. That's fine. I'm totally fine with all of this."

He hears a distant, indignat "Burt!" and tries not to laugh. Because pursue Kurt?

As if.

"Thanks for the permission, Mr. Hummel, but we're just friends."

Kurt flushes red like he knows exactly what's happening and Sebastian thinks if he wants to kiss that heated skin right the fuck there, well then that's just a fluke of emotion he'll learn to do without.

/

Brendan's girlfriend is a girl version of Blaine which freaks Sebastian out so much that he has a hard time going to class and only manages because Kurt is neurotic and has his schedule memorized, the little shit. Anyway, he ends up hanging out with them at this cafe near school and Leanna Thorn is actually kind of super fun. She gets Sebastian's fucked up sense of humor, elbows Brendan whenever he says stupid shit, and orders chai tea lattes by saying 'chai with ice please'.

It's not fun when she askes about Kurt in that same curious way Brendan had, but whatever, Sebastian will just deal.

/

It's Kurt's idea to invite all their friends for a housewarming, so naturally, it turns into this huge fucking deal that Kurt stresses over even though they've only managed to make about five friends between them. Either way, the night does turn out great even if Kurt's friends from school are fucking freaks.

Friend Number One is Joseph Kudrow and he is fucking psychotic. Rachel Berry level of psychotic. He even has the weirdo, mopey bangs and huge mouth and irritating laugh. Sebastian really can't seems to escape Lima, Ohio.

Friend Number Two is Silvia Elusive-About-Last-Name and she is gorgeous but very, very quiet. She seems to makes Leanna really fucking uncomfortable and makes Kurt weirdly giggly.

For some reason, they all get along really well.

As the night progresses, Brendan gets him alone and smiles all knowingly before saying, "Dude, whether you like it or not, Kurt is literally your boyfriend."

Sebastian rolls his eyes, scoffs, and takes a sip of the expensive wine Kazem brought over.

"Yes, whatever pleases your secret homosexual heart, Bren."

Brendan laughs, shaking his head, and says, "You're fuckin' blind, Smythe. During the toast, you had an arm around his waist. You follow him with your eyes like a fuckin' creep. You looked about ready to cry when Kazem hugged him. Fuck, bub, if you don't get it and he doesn't get it, then you're the fuckin' sorriest pair I ever did see."

Sebastian is going to seriously sit down one day and reconsider how he picks his friends.

In the meantime, he drowns his drink in one swing and tries not to break the glass as Kazem leans over to whisper something in Kurt's ear that seems to fucking delight the sweet hell out of him.

/

"High school sucks," Blaine whines and Sebastian wishes this was a phonecall so he could roll his eyes.

As it is, they're on Skype and he's pretty sure Blaine is counting on Kurt somehow magically appearing on screen. Well, it's Blaine's lucky (not so lucky, if you ask Sebastian) day because Kurt comes home at that minute and announces his arrival all loud and musical and irritating as all hell.

Sebastian is on the kitchen's bar and Kurt has to walk around until he's behind Sebastian to see who he's talking to. His face is one of shock and mild anger as Blaine smiles and waves sheepishly. Kurt glares down at Sebastian, who shrugs innocently, and then begins to move away, but Blaine stops him with a haggered, "Kurt!"

"Kurt, come on, wait."

"What," Kurt bites out all harsh and short and Sebastian grabs his elbow. He moves off the stool and plants Kurt on it instead. Kurt looks betrayed and Sebastian just strokes a hand down his back and leaves the kitchen.

The last thing he hears is Kurt tentatively apologizing.

/

Kurt seems significantly happier when he comes to Sebastian's room two hours later. He doesn't even scrunch up his nose at the lack of hygeine and crawls up on Sebastian's bed to sit cross-legged in front of him. Sebastian raises his eyesbrow, looking up from his book, and Kurt grins.

"Thank you," he says, eyes big and blue and stupidly pretty, "I really needed that. We're... I guess, we're friends again."

He laughs softly, hands trembling like he can hardly contain his happiness, and Sebastian finds himself smiling back at him.

They stare at each other for a minute, smiling like morons, before Kurt shifts forward and suddenly turns serious. Sebastian titls his head in question and Kurt moves a little bit closer. Kurt places a hand next to Sebastian's crossed legs, leans forward, and kisses Sebastian on the lips. It's chaste, sweet, and over too fast but it sends Sebastain reeling and his heart feels like it's trying to beat right out of his throat. He blinks at Kurt who flushes and scrambles back a little.

"Sorry," he mumbles, but Sebastian won't have it, won't let him slip away, so he throws his book aside and moves up on his knees to yank Kurt close by the collar. He kisses him, but it's nothing like before because he's presses fingers into Kurt's jaw, forces his mouth open, and digging in like it's all his, and it is. It has always been, and god-

"Fuck, Seb-"

"Shut up," he gasps, hands at Kurt's waist like they're teenagers, and Kurt huffs like the little bitch he is.

He thinks about love and how easy it would be and how Kurt would surely, definitely make it worth it. He thinks about smooth skin and pale hands and beautiful lips and how he doesn't deserve any of it. Sebastian Smythe is finally getting a little slice of his dreams and it's only to be expected that he's thinking of ways to fuck it up.

"Please," Kurt whispers and Sebastian already regrets everything.


	7. Chapter 7

The initial plan had been to thank Sebastian with a warm hug, to somehow put an end to their snarky little bitchfest and try at friendship for real, no emotional baggage allowed. Funny how things work out because Kurt is kissing Sebastian square on the mouth and their fingers are somehow intertwined between their laps. Sebastian makes a noise against his lips and Kurt finds himself saying, "Please," before he can help it. And, in the next second, he's flat on his back and not in the way he'd like to be. He blinks at the ceiling and vaguely notices that Sebastian isn't kissing him anymore.

Wait.

"_Wait_."

"What?" Sebastian snaps, and wow, okay.

"_You_ kissed _me_ that time around. Why are you-" he frowns and sits up on the bed, twists around to glare at Sebastian who is frantically pacing the room, "Wait."

"_What_?"

Kurt doesn't know what. This is weirder than that one time he-

"Wait. You _kissed_ me."

"Shut up, Betty. You started it," Sebastian accuses childishly, now wringing his hands together, and his forehead has a thin sheen of sweat on it that Kurt is strangely finding cute. He sighs and rugs his fingers against his temple. Great way to get out of a conundrum, Kurt. Yes, just complicate it even more. A plus on the _why the fuck would anyone_ aspect, Kurt. A plus.

"Sweet Dolce and-"

"Fuck, oh my god, Kurt, you can't tell Blaine about this."

Kurt looks at him with what he hopes is a crystal clear 'are-you-joking' expression. Sebastian seems to get the message because he starts breathing at a normal rate and his hands are no longer trying to fuse into each other. So, Kurt goes back to rubbing his temple with his eyes screwed shut. He takes to mumbling to himself. He's almost done whining out 'why the hell would I tell Blaine, though' when Sebastian suddenly stops pacing right in front of him. Kurt opens his eyes out of curiosity and immediately wishes he hadn't.

For someone that doesn't mind who it is as long as he's getting some, Sebastian sure looks _wrecked_.

"What is it?" he asks softly, moving his hands away from his head to touch Sebastian's shaking fist.

Sebastian looks down at him like he wants to put Kurt into a box, shove it under his bed, and just never acknowledge it again. Not the most flattering image, but Kurt has dealt with worst, what with homophobic jocks and all. He can deal with this, too, and it won't hurt because he won't _let_ it.

He kissed Sebastian out of gratitude. Out of a split second of insanity. It's not like he wants to do it again. It's not like it matters what Sebastian is thinking.

Oh, great, there's that headache again.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian whispers and Kurt sighs.

Distantly, he remembers being a great mood.

/

Things are, naturally, quite uncomfortable in the Hummel-Smythe apartment the following few days. It isn't until Kurt accidentally falls asleep with his head on Sebastian's shoulder while they're watching The Wedding Date with Kazem that they somehow get out of that weird funk. Kurt blinks awake hours later and the tv is off, Sebastian has a book in his lap, and Kazem is nowhere in sight. Kurt awkwardly straightens up, self-consciously wiping at his mouth lest there be drool, and Sebastian immediately starts bitching about his sore shoulder.

Kurt smiles through the entire cute, little rant and his heart thuds ominously when he realizes what he's doing.

He's falling in love with another unattainable boy.

My oh my, the Tragic Tales of Kurt Hummel. The _sequel_.

He curls his hands into fists, dragging his nails up his thighs in the process, and bitches back weakly, no heat behind his words no matter how hard he tries. Sebastian doesn't seem to notice, just shoves Kurt lightly to the side and goes back to his book. He's so beautiful, so perfect. He belongs on the front cover of magazines. In other words, he's someone Kurt could barely even dream of having.

Which is fine. Kurt Hummel and his Tragic Tales are used to this.

/

"Kurt, sweetheart, you're spacing," Silvia points out. Kurt doesn't even try to pretend he wasn't and Silvia gives him that subtle, sweet pitying look he's gotten used to over the past few weeks. Apparently, she figured out his 'feelings' for Sebastian at the housewarming party and she hasn't mentioned it since unless you count _every available second they're together_. So, Kurt's been having a fun month.

"Just thinking of designs for the next project," he lies pathetically and Silvia makes that stupid face again.

Joseph Kudrow, bless his heart, has missed the entire exchange while frowning down at his notebook and worrying his bottom lip. Kurt wants to swat at his face gently and make him some warm milk after. Sweet, sweet Joseph Kudrow. Kurt pushes his cute, dopey bangs out of his eyes and sighs when Joseph continues to be confused by his own notes.

"Stop petting Joey, Kurt. You finished your designs days ago," Silvia points out, blue eyes narrowed but warm.

"Silvia, honestly. What do you want me to say?"

He drops his chin on his crossed forearms and proceeds to sulk. Joseph absently reaches over to strokes his hair and Silvia rolls her eyes, flicking her pitch black hair over her shoulder. The sad, little trio is in a stuffy coffee shop and their dreams are still as dull and sad and little as the towns they all came from. Kurt almost wants to smile.

"I kissed Sebastian," Kurt admits hastily, voice rough and insecure. Silvia perks up immediately, slapping Joseph's cheek lightly so he's also paying attention. Kurt looks away from their curious eyes and sighs for what seems like the fifth time today. "He kissed me back."

"That's great, Kurt-"

"And, then he pushed me away and said not to tell Blaine and never mentioned it again."

Silvia's smile drops and Joseph looks pissed on Kurt's behalf.

"He likes you, though. He loves you."

Kurt snorts, pushing his coffee away so he can rest his forehead against the cool, hard wood of the table. He snorts again, breaking into tiny, pathetic giggles that are sure to worry his friends, but he can't help it. Sebastian loves him? Okay, Detective Silvia. _Okay_. He giggles some more and tries not to cry.

He's pretty sure Silvia and Joseph are exchanging 'our poor little baby' looks over his head and though he loves them for it, he'd much rather melt into the table and die, thanks.

/

If Kurt wasn't so hung up on Sebastian Asshole Smythe, he's pretty sure he'd be in love with Kazem because he can cook and he also sings. Apparently that's all it takes to get Kurt down and under. He's easy, what can he say.

"You look hungry," Kazem teases softly as he shakes a pan up and down to spread the oil. Kurt smiles because fuck yeah he's hungry. Just not for food. He stops smiling when he realizes Sebastian has rubbed off on him. Kazem shoots him a cute, little frown and Kurt swivels uncertainly on his stool. Sebastian is at some party that's probably seedy and gross and full of idiotic twinks, so Kurt figures he should have no problem getting over himself.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Kazem raises his eyebrows disbelievingly.

"What?"

"You've been sulking since I got here, Kurt, and I refuse to believe it's my company that's causing it," he says, winking like the horrible bastard he is. Kurt laughs (giggles like a middle school kid, really) and Kazem goes back to cutting the vegetables while saying, "Now, either you spill or this evening is going to be quite a dull one."

"Just worried about school. It's nothing."

"Silvia called me earlier."

Kurt groans. He knew introducing his friends to each other was a horrible idea. Kazem laughs softly at his expense and points at him with a knife, saying, "Out with it, Hummel."

"Silvia is a bitch."

"She's just looking out for you."

"Yeah, well-"

"You should just tell Sebastian how you feel. Knowing him, he's probably worried and insecure and stupid. He's never going to make the first move."

"Why does everyone think he even wants to make a move? It's pretty clear to me that he _doesn't_."

Kazem rests his hand against the cutting board, a thoughtful look on his face as he studies Kurt, and then he grins brightly. Kurt tries not to look worried.

"Fine. Fine, if you don't believe us, I have a plan. Let's go to the club this weekend with him. I'll prove it to you."

"Prove what?"

Kazem just grins, shrugging his shoulders and laughing to himself like a psycho. Kurt knew making friends in general was a horrible idea.

/

Turns out, Silvia and Joseph are in on whatever Kazem's plan is because they tag along on friday night as Kazem sneaks them all into a club. Sebastian, in turn, invites Brendan and Leanna. So, it's them seven in a semi-private booth and they're having a fun time when Kazem nudges Kurt with his elbow. He winks and then tugs Kurt out of the booth. Kurt glances back at his friends and notices Sebastian has his jaw clenched shut and his fingers look like they might break the glass in his hand.

"C'mon," Kazem says, nearly yanking Kurt along until they're at the edge of the dance floor. It's nearly midnight and Kurt is tired, but Kazem won't let up. He snakes an arm around Kurt's waist and pulls him tight against his chest. He's grinning way too wide for comfort. He leans forward to whisper, "Don't look now but Sebastian is praying for my untimely death right this second," into his ear. Kurt pulls back to frown at him and suddenly realizes that this was the plan.

To apparently drive Sebastian mad with jealously.

Kazem may be pretty but he really isn't all that smart, even if his stunning performance in business school would vouch differently. Oh, why must the beautiful continue to disappoint Kurt.

"You're an idiot," Kurt whispers back and Kazem pouts because he's an idiot.

"Fine," he says before gripping Kurt's neck and tugging him close. Kurt makes a surprised little noise that gets sucked right in by Kazem's mouth that is suddenly hot and wet and persistent against his own. He pushes at his chest a little but gets distracted when Kazem does this very nice and very distracting thing with his tongue that has Kurt opening his mouth in a heartbeat. He's really starting to enjoy himself when he's unceremoniously yanked back by the back of his collar. He blinks stupidly, panting and mouth open, as Sebastian steps in front of him and glares. Kazem wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and smirks over Sebastian's shoulder.

"Kurt," Sebastian starts and then promptly gets stuck.

"What?" Kurt says, hoping it echoes that night. It doesn't because Sebastian just keeps glaring at him, hands fisted at his sides and face red. "What is it?"

Sebastian huffs, rolling his eyes, and puts up his palms like Kurt's the one that looks half-way murderous. Kazem's pleased grin has faltered slightly at this point and Kurt regrets sneaking a look when Sebastian rears back until he's so close that Kurt can't see anyone else. He grabs the side of Kurt's face, thumb under his chin and fingers spread gently across his cheekbone. Kurt's breath catches and he's about to say something pretty stupid when Sebastian speaks up.

"This club isn't Scandals, Betty. This is New York fucking City and as culturally sheltered as you have been, you really should know when _class_ is needed, you attention-seeking _fag_."

He drags his fingers down Kurt's face, pulls his lips down before letting go, and Kurt feels like the entire world is stuck inside his throat. In a frenzy of motion that Kurt is partially oblivious to, Sebastian is turned around by the sleeve of his shirt and punched across the face.

Vaguely he hears Kazem bite out, "No, actually, the attention-seeking fag was me, but you knew that, didn't you, jackass?"

He's aware that in about ten seconds, he's going to cry and it's going to be ugly and messy and nothing he wants his friends to see. Nothing he wants Sebastian to see. So, he takes in a deep breath, looks at Sebastian's back and at the way he still has his hand where Kazem punched him, and smiles. Kazem has tears in his eyes and Kurt promptly stops smiling. Instead of reassuring his friends, he opts for running out of the club.

/

As Kurt's luck has been the past few months, it's only natural that it's raining outside and he's wearing his favorite pair of jeans. That doesn't stop him from running, though. He tries not to cry, but the more he tries, the tighter his throat seems to get. So, he finally stops at some random, probably dangerous bench outside of a bakery and lets his face fall into his hands as sobs wreck his entire body. The sidewalk is busy, but Kurt's sure no one will bother to look anywhere expect the ground their umbrellas cover.

It takes Sebastian about twenty minutes to find him, time during which Kurt manages to stop crying and start worrying about his hair. Sebastian runs past him once and Kurt watches as he stops at an intersection with his hands on his waist like he's out of breath. He thinks about throwing his ruined shoes at the back of Sebastian stupid, handsome head, but his fantasies stop short when Sebastian suddenly runs back. Right towards him.

He stops in front of him, pants for a bit, and manages to find enough strength to glare at Kurt.

"You could have gotten killed, you idiot," he huffs out, face scrunched up as he pants some more.

And, suddenly Kurt is so furious he can barely see.

He gets up with enough murderous intent to scare Sebastian into taking a step back and the rest of the two steps are because Kurt shoves him. Sebastian falls back against someone that swears at him and then his eye sort of get grazed by the tips of an umbrella. He shouts and stumbles out of human traffic with no finesse whatsoever. By the time he's against the wall next to the bench, he looks pathetic enough for Kurt to almost pity him.

"Fuck, it's cold," Sebastian mutters, hugging himself tight. Kurt rolls his eyes and starts walking back toward the club. Sebastian walks two steps behind him until they reach the club's entrance. There are so many people around them, but all Kurt can see is Sebastian and that's the thought he uses to get himself good and angry.

"I'm moving out," Kurt says, ignoring the way Sebastian looks close to panic, "In a week. Give me a week and this _attention-seeking fag_ will be out of your life."

"Shut up," Sebastian says and his voice is rough and needy and Kurt doesn't know what to think anymore. "God, shut up. I don't want you to move out. I don't know why I said that. Jesus, why can't you just. Why can't we forget about it? I'm sorry, okay. I'm so sorry. Come on-" he puts out his hand "-let's go inside."

He's breathing hard and loud against the cold, October night and Kurt's afraid he might start crying again.

"I don't want to forget about it, Sebastian. I'm moving-"

"Please."

Sebastian is looking somewhere around Kurt's chin and Kurt sighs.

"Do you even like me?"

Sebastian's eyes snap to his.

"Of course, I do," he says like it's a universally known truth and Kurt is stupid to even question it. Which, unfortunately, brings Kazem's viewpoint into perspective. What if Sebastian really is that big of an idiot?

"Do you... Do you love me?"

Sebastian blanches and shakes his head mutely like a lost puppy.

It's the loudest yes Kurt has ever heard.

"Sebastian," he prompts softly.

"I don't. I haven't- Listen, I don't know what you've been thinking but you're my _friend_. A good friend. That's it."

His voice shakes as he says it and somehow Kurt doubts it's because of the rain or the biting wind.

"I won't move out. I promise I won't, but this. Sebastian, be honest with me. No one acts like that _just because_. You had to have had some motive to go up there when Kazem kissed me."

When Sebastian doesn't say anything for a while, Kurt sighs and says, "Fine. Then, from now on we're friends. No more bitching at each other for no reason. No more acting up with people kiss me. Got it?"

"Got it," Sebastian says, smiling grimly like he's won something and lost something equally as big all at once.

Kurt really hopes it was worth it.

/

Kazem doesn't talk to Sebastian for weeks, tenses up whenever he's over at their apartment, and refuses to come to any parties they have. Sebastian retaliates by taking up most of Kurt's free time, having many parties, and insulting Kazem's cooking every chance he gets. It's almost cute, expect Sebastian chose to be his friend, not some petulant, jealous idiot.

And, frankly, Kurt's had enough of people playing with his feelings.

/

Finals are coming up and Kurt spends two hours on the phone with Blaine. He's pretty sure that's not the best way to ensure he does good this semester but it feels good to have his best friend back. Blaine shyly tells him about a boy he met and Kurt smiles so wide his cheeks hurt. He gets off the phone when his stomach grumbles and he's reminded of the fact that he's supposed to cook dinner tonight. He warmly bids Blaine goodbye and can't stop smiling as he skips to the kitchen.

Thankfully no one's around when Kurt tries to belt out 'How You Like Me Now' in baritone.

He's about done cutting up vegetables for the pizza when the door opens. He hears the familiar jingle of Sebastian's keys being flung in the vague direction of their hat rack/weird cabinet thing. What's not familiar is a giggle that's followed by someone saying, "Sebastian!" in this awfully annoying screech.

Kurt walks out of the kitchen and stands in the hallway with the knife still in his hands and his apron on. He's grateful for both when he sees some twink hanging off of Sebastian's arm.

"Hi," he says, louder than he means to, and they both look at him at the same time. And, where the twink looks a little bit bothered, Sebastian just looks really fucking pleased with himself. Kurt's grip on the knife tightens.

"Hi," Sebastian says right back, grinning wide and Kurt hates how perfect he looks even with his disheveled clothes and tousled hair. Kurt sort of wants to punch him in the face.

"Hi," the twink chimes in, giggling like it's all a big joke, and Kurt smiles back as bitchy as he can manage before turning back toward the kitchen. He hears them shuffle to take off their shoes and nearly stabs himself in the eye when the kid giggles again. Sebastian drags him along by the hand and drops him on the stool and takes a seat next to him. They're facing Kurt, who has the knife and his eyebrows raised, and they look like two people who should never ever get together.

Or, maybe that's just Kurt projecting.

"What're you making?" Sebastian asks and the kid leans close and hooks his arm around Sebastian's.

"What's your friend's name?" Kurt asks since it's pretty obvious he's making a pizza.

"Kevin."

"And, how old is he?"

Kevin frowns and Sebastian says, "I have no idea."

Kevin immediately turns his frown toward Sebastian.

"I'm eighteen. I told you that in the taxi, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," Sebastian says unenthusiastically, eyes trained on the bowl of nuts Kurt had placed on the counter earlier. He reaches for some and gets his hand swatted away. No nuts for you ever, Sebastian Smythe. May you rot in a nut-less hell, good riddance.

Kevin's baby blue eyes look like they might start watering any time soon so Kurt sighs and tries to be the better person since clearly Sebastian isn't going to be stepping up to that plate.

"Hey, do you like bell peppers?"

"Yeah, of-"

"I'm not talking to you, Sebastian."

Kevin smiles, Sebastian scowls, and Kurt gets ready for a long night.

/

By the time Kurt has the pizza in the oven, Sebastian is watching TV and Kevin is telling Kurt all about his Exciting, Adult Adventures. Which Kurt had coming, all things considered, but that doesn't mean he has to enjoy it. Unfortunately, Kevin is all kinds of endearing and his stupid, floppy hair makes Kurt want to pet him and life is so very hard.

Kurt sets the time on the oven for fifteen minutes and says, "Wanna try out a new hairstyle?"

Kevin nearly screams.

/

"You girls enjoying yourselves?"

Kurt looks up from Kevin's face to glare at Sebastian, who just smirks because he's an asshole, and goes back to applying cream gently does Kevin's nose. He explains the merits of his skin care regime and ignores it every time Sebastian snorts until he finally snaps, "Why are you even here? Don't you have pictures of yourself you need to whisper encouraging things to?"

Sebastian just shrugs.

"Keith, isn't it a school-night or something?"

"It's Kevin, you jackass."

Kurt looks toward Kevin with wide eyes and bursts into elated laughter that ends with Sebastian leaving the room in a dramatic huff and Kevin kissing his nose. Kurt shoves him away and they exchange numbers because this kid is Mercedes Jones levels of stellar. They start talking some more in depth and it turns out Kevin is actually sixteen years old, Sebastian is a giant creep (albiet an attractive one), and Kurt doesn't think extending their friendship would actually benefit anyone. So, he walks Kevin to the taxi, promises to call, and slaps the back of Sebastian's head on his way back to the kitchen.

/

Blaine's finals are in January so he has nothing better to do than text Kurt every stupid thing Sebastian tells him. And, through these texts, Kurt learns that Sebastian hasn't had sex in about three months. Which turns out to be pretty useful information because Kurt has lost his mind over the idiot and it's nice to know the idiot isn't getting any.

When Kurt finally finishes his last final, he calls Blaine up and inquires further.

Never did he ever claim to be an intelligent person.

"Sebastian brought home this cute sixteen year-"

"Keith? Yeah, he told me. Kurt, you have to talk to him. He has lost the ability to feel things."

"That's maybe a little bit dramatic, don't you think."

Blaine makes a huffing noise and Kurt can just picture his irritated, little face.

"He's your friend, too."

"_Roommate_."

"He told me you're the best thing that ever happened to him."

Kurt stops short in the middle of the street.

"Excuse me, um, _what_?"

Blaine makes that huffing noise again before saying, "He was drunk, I think, but yeah. Kurt, I know this might sound crazy but I think... I think he like likes you."

Great. Kurt starts walking toward the apartment.

"So, the only person that doesn't know that is Sebastian?"

"Yeah- wait, _you know_?"

"Um, duh. I live with the moron, Anderson."

"Do you like him back?" Blaine asks loudly, an underlying tone of thrill that Kurt does not appreciate.

"Yes, unfortunately, I do."

"Then, what the heck is the issue?"

Kurt presses his floor number in the elevator and sighs.

"Your best friend is the issue. What else."

"Did you ask him-"

"He denied it, so I said fine, right? I mean, I don't have to put up with his jealous boyfriend act if he won't even admit to it. And, he was okay with that, I guess. I gave him an ultimatum_ in the rain_, Blaine."

"He's got something against his own happiness, Jesus Christ... I'll talk to him."

"Go ahead, but I can't say I'll be here waiting for him."

Blaine laughs fondly and says, "Oh, shut up, Kurt. Yes, you will."

Kurt hangs up as his cheeks flush.

/

Silvia is having a weird, slightly creepy party for her new bird and Kurt loves her too much to make up an excuse to not come. In return, he drags Sebastian along because Silvia sort of hates him after the club incident and that'll liven the party right up. Joseph has partially forgiven Sebastian so if anything goes down, Kurt will have to make sure he hasn't fully forgiven Sebastian.

So, maybe it's a plan to get Sebastian beaten up, whatever, okay, Kurt's had a long week.

"Oh, darling, come on in," Silvia says, looking ten kinds of gorgeous and very murderous when she spots Sebastian shuffling in behind him. "_What_ do we have here."

Kurt tugs Sebastian next to him by the sleeve and says, "Well, you said the more the merrier."

"Yes, I suppose I did," she says with a frozen smile and Kurt will really have to talk to her about that later.

There are about twenty people strewn across Silvia's loft and they all seem way too attractive to be real. Apparently, good-looking people travel in flocks. Sebastian seems to fit right in and how unfair is that? Kurt feels like he's hosting the Bachelor and Sebastian is the rich, stupid idiot that has a wide array of rich, stupid choices. Honestly, this was supposed to make Kurt feel better. At least he can still hope that ten years from now Sebastian will be watching Kurt's television channel (not just a television show because Kurt dreams big, thank you very much) and he'll be in ugly sweats and he'll think, _Oh, man, I really should have tapped that while I had the chance. I really shouldn't have gained twenty pounds and lost all my hair._

"What the fuck is that smile, Betty?"

Kurt laughs except it comes out he just pronounced 'ha haha ahaha ah' in monotone. He really can't begrudge Sebastian the slightly disgusted look he shoots him.

They part ways as Kurt moves to the kitchen to help Silvia and Sebastian moves toward Joseph. Kurt really hopes he falls on his face and everyone laughs. As it were, Sebastian has, in the span of ten seconds, managed to woo some hapless idiot who is no doubt one of Silvia's stupid, model friends judging from his stellar fucking looks and stupid fucking hair. Kurt blindly keeps walking toward the kitchen and since it's a loft, he manages to keep an eye on Sebastian until he runs right into Silvia.

Silvia steadies him and says, "Oh, you darling, little child."

For some reason, the soft tone and the gentle hands make Kurt's eyes burn.

/

Kurt spends about an hour glaring at Sebastian and his newfound friend before he finally gets sick of his self-pity and decides to slut it up. He has never actually hit on a guy before in his entire life, but, hey, no one ever became a slut in one day. Everything takes time and patience, after all. So, he shakes off Silvia and heads toward this guy that has been nurses a drink by the counter for a little while as his friends talk loudly about what are doubtlessly idiotic things.

He mixes himself a drink, wills his hands to stop shaking, and turns his body half-way toward the guy. Who has, let the record show, gorgeous eyes. Blaine Anderson gorgeous. Mrs. Smythe gorgeous. Kurt sort of loses his heat when he finds them looking back at him.

"Uh... hello?"

The guy grins disarmingly and puts out his hand with a soft, "Jason."

"Kurt," he says, refusing to outwardly react to Jason's deep, growly voice.

"Oh, I know," Jason says, tilting his head, and Kurt tries not to think too much about how their hands are still together. The contact is nice and warm and Kurt thinks maybe he deserves it. Jason doesn't seem to mind, at least. In fact, he tugs Kurt a little bit closer as he swivels on his stool until his knees bracket Kurt's legs. "Listen," he strokes a thumb across Kurt's hand, "Sebastian told me about... you know. I just want to tell you that I'll wait. Or, well. Maybe, that's a bit presumptuous of me. What I mean is-"

"Wait for what?" Kurt interrupts, glancing across the loft as where Sebastian was previously humping his 'friend'. Currently, he's doing nothing of that sort. Instead, he's glaring right at Kurt and Jason's joined hands. Good.

"For you to be emotionally ready for dating and all that. Losing a pet can be really hard, especially when you weren't expecting it in the least."

Kurt is going to kill Sebastian.

"I've never had a pet in my entire life." Jason's charming, dazzling smile drops a little in confusion and Kurt tightens his fingers around Jason's as he says, "Sebastian just has a weird sense of humor. Some side-effect of the Nair he uses on his chest, I think."

He looks back over at Sebastian and smiles, sweet and fake, before stepping a little bit further into the 'v' of Jason's legs. He slides his free hand up Jason's chest and rests it on his shoulder. He leans in and Jason's other hand immediately comes up around Kurt's waist. They still have their hands clasped together in an intimate handshake and it'd be ridiculous if Kurt wasn't dizzy with loving and hating Sebastian wildly, _passionately_ all at the same time.

Jason smiles sweetly and Kurt suddenly wants to drink himself stupid.

/

By the time the party comes to an end, Kurt is pretty sure Jason is quite possibly the nicest person ever, Sebastian is nowhere in sight, and Kurt is definitely all the way drunk. He's slurring his words and trying to give Jason a lap dance and he's going to hate himself in the morning. He leans in to whisper dirty, filthy things into Jason's ear, who blushes because he's a goddamn fucking sweetheart, and his grip on Kurt's waist tightens. They're smushed against one side of the sofa even though no one else is sitting on it and Kurt is thinking about getting naked when he feels a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Time to go home, Betty. Say bye to Jason."

Sebastian sounds like he might stab Jason in the eye, but Kurt isn't ready to go just yet.

"No, I wanna have, I want to. Have. The sex with Jasss. Ja-son."

Jason coughs uncomfortably and Kurt nuzzles into his neck.

"Mmm, let's," he starts but his mouth refuses to let go of the 's' sound so he just ends up hissing a little until Sebastian grabs his shoulder again.

"Get the fuck up, Kurt."

"That's rude," Kurt says with a frown, licking the warm skin against his face just for fun. One second later, the warm skin somehow slithers away from his mouth and he tilts forward until his face is smushed against the couch's armrest. Strong, big hands are at his waist and he's being hoisted up even though he's pretty sure he said he didn't want to leave. Someone pushes his wayward bangs out of his eyes gently and picks him up bridal-style. Kurt's kind of not cool with that but it feels nice so he lets it go.

"I love you," he whispers with his eyes shut and his heart bravely open.

The arms holding him up almost lose their grip.

/

a/n: sorry about the ten years in delay omg i beg forgiveness xoxox 3


	8. Chapter 8

Once, when Sebastian was still naive enough to dream, he wanted to build things. He would make Lego skyscrapers and little houses with makeshift gardens and farm houses that were the wrong color of red but just the right dimensions. He wanted to be a builder. Later, he learned the correct term was architect, but by then, he wasn't naive anymore. So, he changed his dream to match his father's.

Initially, it had been Kurt's brazen attitude that had rubbed Sebastian the wrong way. He had never met someone so willing to fight for his dreams, so self-assured and confident in that will. So... brave. All Sebastian could do was try to keep up with Kurt's little digs while his resolve crumbled and the cocky smirk got harder and harder to put on. And, then Blaine had jumped in front of the slushy and Sebastian felt like his world was falling apart.

There's something about two people in love (even though he really doubts Blaine ever deserved Kurt in the first place) that makes you feel like shit. There's something even worse about a tall, beautiful boy with fire in his eyes that makes you feel like maybe dreams aren't as silly as you had first thought.

Sebastian starts to dream something outside his father's perimeter and there's nothing worse than that.

/

So, Kurt's going out with Jason apparently. Whatever, like Sebastian gives a flying fuck.

/

**6:09 P.M. / December 16th**

_Not even bothered, diary. Not even a little bit bothered. Pardon the drunk entry I typed yesterday. I was, well, drunk and clearly out of my mind._

_I am actually fijo3kllmsjoaaeor;i_

/

"And, then, he kissed my nose and said this totally cheesy thing that I am not going to repeat," Kurt says, blushing shyly as he ducks his head, and his little fashion buddies just seem to eat it right up. Silvia squeals and grasps Kurt's hand in this 'go get 'em, tiger' gesture that makes Sebastian want to hurl himself to the floor in angry tears. Even Joseph is lively and enthusiastic and Sebastian didn't know he had more than two expressions, really.

He sighs and leans back against the couch to continue reading Architectural Digest. Silvia throws him a dirty look that is actually sort of intimidating and would have Sebastian in knots if she didn't look away a second later.

"What did he say?" Joseph asks, sliding his notebook up the counter to nudge at Kurt's. Sebastian lets out another deep sigh as he angrily flips the pages of his magazine. Silvia doesn't seem to find his dramatics important enough anymore.

"Well..." Kurt starts, clearly thrilling in the suspense like the sick, little bastard he is, "So, you know how I was wearing that blue scarf, right. Well, he, like, toyed with it after he kissed my nose and said, 'That's the loveliest blue I've ever seen,' and his voice makes me want to skip out on my moisturizing routine if you get what I mean." Sebastian really doubts anyone gets what he means. "So, I was trying to be all witty and charming as you know I am, and I said, 'I told them to give me the loveliest blue they had, darling, of course'. I can't even tell you the silly little smile he had on his face." Wow, Kurt really sucks at flirting. "And, then, he got really close and said, 'Darling, I meant your eyes,' and it was so off-topic, right, and I was utterly flummoxed. That big, scary word means 'surprised', by the way, Sebastian," Kurt ends with a bitchy little smile.

Sebastian pretends he wasn't eavesdropping and just glares down at the article on Burj Khalifa.

Silvia claps her hands in giddiness or something equally as disgusting and Kurt does that shy, ducking his head thing again.

Sebastian is seriously going to move to Dubai. Fuck New York City.

/

Brendan and Leanna take Sebastian comfort shopping and the best they can think of is Costco. So, Sebastian eats the samples twice, ignores the grumpy, old ladies when they try to explain what they're selling, and plays the piano loudly at everyone who passes by. Brendan eventually has to pry him off of the instrument, mumbling hasty apologies at the employee that asked them to stop, and Leanna rolls her eyes.

"Smythe, bub, you're really tryin' my patience," Brendan says, hand gripping Sebastian's elbow like he doesn't trust him further than he can throw him.

"What? Why would they put a piano out, plug it in, turn it on, and then expect people to not play it? Am I missing out on the joke or something?"

"You're a mess," Leanna says, but her eyes are kind enough.

Sebastian sighs.

"If you like Kurt so much, why didn't you just ask him out?" Leanna asks, rifling absently through the stacks of books in front of her.

"I don't like him."

Brendan bursts out laughing in the middle of Costco.

/

It's midnight and Sebastian has blood on his hands.

"Darling, if you're going to kill me, you might as well make it look good."

Sebastian looks up from his hands at Kurt, who has his wrists tied and has been dumped on the floor at Sebastian's feet, but hell if he doesn't look like he owns the place. He has bruises on his neck and on the shoulder that's exposed due to his shirt slipped off of it. Sebastian hopes he's the one that put them there.

"Shut up," he says, wiping his palms on his jeans and taking out his gun from it was tucked against his back. He loads the chamber in one, loud snap and he doesn't miss the way Kurt's eyelashes flutter with the sound.

"Why are you so upset?" Kurt asks, cocking his head to the side with a condescending smile, "Is it because I didn't let you fuck me like last time?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Because I would have, baby, you just didn't give me the time to offer. Come here, let me make it. All. Better," Kurt croons, moving back on his ass as he spreads his legs out on the floor, hands falling into the newly created space.

Sebastian breaks into a sweat, hands too warm on his gun, and Kurt grins.

"Come now, Sebastian, no need for dramatics."

He puts his arm down and-

/

Jason is tall, broad, and gorgeous. In other words, he's pretty much just like Sebastian. So, if Kurt thinks he's being subtle, he's sorely mistaken. The only difference between fucking Jason and Sebastian is the fact that Jason actually has the balls to date Kurt, which isn't even that big of a deal because Sebastian is totally going to- Fuck this.

"What do you want on your pizza, babe?" Jason asks, scrolling through his iPhone.

"Pepperoni and bell peppers," Sebastian answers before Kurt can and an uncomfortable moment later Jason turns around to place the order. Kurt is staring at Sebastian, so he shrugs, going back to his english project. He has to write an essay about the Italian mafia and the Prohibition, and it doesn't help that last night he dreamed about Kurt in zoot suit that he shed piece by piece like the little shit he is. The paper is due tomorrow and after that he's done with the fall semester. He'd be pretty happy about it if he had anything to look forward to in winter break, but alas.

"Sebastian," Kurt say, voice too soft to be anything except foreboding.

"What?"

"Sebastian."

He's forced to look up and Kurt is glaring at him, which, hello, rude.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he says in this pleasant as fuck voice because Jason Dickwad is still on the phone and he wants to continue to impress or whatever. Jesus fucking Christ. Sebastian shrugs agreeably and Kurt gets up before tossing the TV remote on the sofa a bit too hard. He stomps to his room, clearly expecting Sebastian to just follow, and Sebastian tries not to sigh petulantly at this unpleasant turn of events.

Kurt closes the door once they're both inside and turns to Sebastian with his hands on his hips.

"Sebastian Ramsey Smythe," he says and whoa-

"How do you know my middle-"

"I've had it up to here," (two inches above Sebastian's height, apparently), "with you and your childish little attempts at making Jason feel less at home. He's myboyfriend. He is going to be around here frequently unlike your sad, dismal hookups. Just because you don't want to go out with me, that doesn't mean no one else does either."

Kurt's cheeks are flushed pink and that's about the only thing Sebastian is able to concentrate on so he doesn't see it coming when Kurt suddenly shoves at his chest. His body leans back with the motion and he frowns.

"Are you even listening?" Kurt asks, nearly screaming.

"I hate him," Sebastian says and his verbal filter is really failing him today.

Kurt gapes at him before saying, "What has he even done to you, Sebastian?"

"He just wants to get in your pants, Kurt, god. Wake up."

So, maybe he deserved it a little bit when Kurt screeched indignantly, turned around to grab the vase on his side table, snatched the flowers out, flung them at Sebastian's chest before dumping the water in the vase on Sebastian's head, and promptly left the room.

/

**11:24 P.M. / December 18th**

_Not going home for Christmas because sentiments are for idiots, so Kurt got over his silent treatment to invite me over to his house for the break._

_Which, let's be real, is going to be one big clusterfuck. Good thing I've been conditioned to just accept such outcomes._

_Merry Christmas!) (*$)(#034 HEARTS AND GODDAMN FUCKING KISSES. OXOXOIXj_

/

"Your diary is so sad, Seb, oh my god."

Leanna actually looks pretty disturbed, but Sebastian is currently thinking about which inviting outfit he should pack that will make Kurt regret the flower vase incident. Or, something. Brendan is leafing through Sebastian's CD collection and it turns out the couple is even more invasive than Jeff and Nick. He really sucks at picking friends.

"Read it out loud, Anna!" Brendan yells cheerfully and Sebastian is really, really glad Kurt is out fucking Jason in some dirty alley or whatever he's doing.

"Okay! Well, let's start at the beginning-"

Sebastian seriously contemplates suffocating himself with his fuzzy, winter socks.

/

It's comforting to know that although Sebastian has managed to gain Kurt's friendship and then promptly fuck it up with such meddlesome things such as love andaffection, Lima, Ohia hasn't changed one bit. Either way, he's home sweet home and Kurt is actually running down the airport in order to meet Burt Hummel halfway in this totally Hollywood hug that ends with Burt twirling Kurt around and then setting him down in a flurry of laughter and tears.

"Look at you," Burt says, hands cupping Kurt's face, "You've grown even taller, haven't you?"

Kurt does this half snort, half sob thing that makes something twist in Sebastian's stomach, so he walks a little bit faster until he's next to the pair.

"Hey, Mr. Hummel," Sebastian says, holding out his hand. Burt moves away from his son to grip Sebastian's hand and pull him into a hug. Sebastian is decidedly uncomfortable with a father figure showing him affection, but Kurt is smiling at them warmly and hey, whatever, Sebastian can handle it.

/

Since Jason didn't warrant a visit to Kurt's home, all of Carole's motherly attention is on Sebastian and Finn's over-protective brother act is almost to the point of obsessive. And, Sebastian isn't even Kurt's boyfriend. He wonders how these people will react once Kurt brings Jason home. He makes a face at the thought and Kurt smacks the back of his head. It's a testament to how much Sebastian's life sucks that he doesn't even insult Kurt and simply walks into the Hummel household with a charming smile.

Carole ushers them into the kitchen, fussing over how skinny Kurt has gotten, and they all sit down for a early dinner.

Burt looks at them funny when Sebastian instinctively puts two pancakes on Kurt's plate before putting four on his own. Kurt, in turn, pours him a glass of orange juice and a grabs a cup of coffee for himself. Burt's fingers tighten around his fork when Sebastian shoots him a grin and brushes nonexistent lint off of Kurt's soft, blue sweater. Kurt doesn't even falter in his precise cutting of the pancake, just hums in answer to whatever Finn is ranting about.

"Son, Carole tells me you have a new boyfriend," Burt says and Kurt swallows hard before shrugging.

"Not really a boyfriend-" Sebastian looks at him incredulously because, wow, he's my boyfriend and he's going to around a lot! Okay, Kurt. Okay. "Just dating again. Figured it's about time, right?"

Finn looks a bit miffed about not getting to complete whatever sordid story his wee heart was bleeding out, Carole seem contemplative, Burt seems more relaxed, and Sebastian just sort of feels great. Jason, that poor bastard. Kurt just invalidated him in front of his entire family (plus Sebastian).

"Honey, why don't you come help me in kitchen," Carole says in this authoritative voice that has Kurt quietly getting up.

Sebastian doesn't realize he's grinning until Burt clears his throat with a pointed glare.

/

**5:32 P.M. / December 20th**

_Mother somehow found out I'm in town and called Kurt who forced me to go visit her. So, I did and I made sure father wouldn't be around when I came over. I needn't have worried. He's spending his holidays in Europe with his business and his precious money._

_If I sound bitter, it's because I am._

_:)_

/

Kurt must be feeling really, really guilty about forcing Sebastian to go home because he doesn't even bitch about it when Sebastian dumps his things on Kurt's bed and flops down on the soft mattress with a sigh. Burt had been reluctant about Sebastian staying in the same room, but Carole had rolled her eyes and Finn had loudly said something about not wanting to share his room with Sebastian. (He still seemed a bit upset about the nude photo incident.)

Either way, Sebastian was to take the couch on the extreme end of the basement while Kurt took the bed.

"Um, Sebastian."

He has never heard Kurt speak so softly or hesitantly before. He's sort of digging it.

"I wish my family cared about me," he mumbles into the bedsheets because he's a sadist and having one up on Kurt Hummel was previously only a dream.

"I'm sorry," Kurt says hastily, most probably wringing his hands together, "I thought maybe Mr. Smythe would be home and you would walk in and it'd be this grand, theatre type music in the air and you would rush forward with your-"

"Shut up, Betty. I was kidding."

It's silent for a couple of seconds before Sebastian feels something slam into his back and he scrambles back in shock. Kurt is glaring at him with a hard cover book in hand and he makes as if to use it again, so Sebastian fumbles off the bed and grabs Kurt's wrist.

"Violence is never-"

He ends with an oof as Kurt knees him at the side of his hips. He rubs the sore spot, looking at Kurt like he's lost his mind, and he's about to joke his way out of this before he notices the way Kurt's ears are red. The way his lips are trembling. The way he's blinking too fast, like he's trying not to cry. Sebastian lowers his hand, taking Kurt's wrist with him, and tugs him close. He engulfs Kurt in a hug, spanning one hand on his back and one on Kurt's waist.

"Sorry," he whispers into Kurt's hair and Kurt wraps his arms around Sebastian's shoulder in this desperate clutch that makes Sebastian feel about fifteen kinds of shit. "M'sorry."

He closes his eyes, breathing in deep, and yeah, maybe he's in love with Kurt. Whatever.

/

Unfortunately, having certain realizations about certain people doesn't mean that those people are just going to fall into your bed. Sometimes, certain people have boyfriends. And, protective family members. And, maybe you made them cry several times. It's all just circumstance, really.

Sebastian decides to call in help in the form of Jeff, Nick, and Blaine, all three of whom might as well start a Kurt Hummel fan club from the glares they're sending him.

"So, he confessed-"

"Not really. Drunkenly, once, yes. But, never sober."

"But, he kissed you, and you kissed him back."

"Well."

Blaine rolls his eyes and Jeff tries to choke himself on Nick's blazer. It's almost endearing.

"Look, Sebastian, you know he loves you. And, now you know you love him back, which, wow, took you a lot of time. Just tell him. What's the big deal?"

"He has a boyfriend, Nicholas, you fool."

Jeff jumps in with, "But, you just said that at breakfast-"

"He's probably just worried about Burt being worried. I can tell you from two days ago, they are very much boyfriends. Jason has forgotten Kurt's name is Kurt, at this point. It's always babe this and babe that and babe, I'm such a fucking hopeless moron, love me anyway? Okay, great!"

Sebastian scowls at the memory, and Blaine laughs.

"Don't worry about Jason. I have it on good authority that they aren't serious and Kurt will actually take your sorry ass as it is," Blaine says, eyes warm and gentle. Sebastian sort of wants to die.

"No, no, no, no," Jeff says, waggling his finger, "No. First, you have to woo Kurt. This isn't going to be like with Blaine when Kurt pined for months and Blaine had an epiphany and Kurt just fell into a relationship. No. Kurt is going to pursued because he deserves it and if Jason likes him that much, he'll just have to fight for him."

Sebastian can't quite argue with that, so he nods. Blaine pats his back, Nick make cynical dying gestures, and Jeff beams.

/

**7:03 P.M. / December 23th**

_1. Got Kurt some flowers._

_Result? Got them thrown at my face._

_2. Asked Burt for permission to date Kurt._

_Result? Burt laughed at my face and then called Finn over so they could laugh together._

_3. Wrote a love letter._

_Result? Got it back with red ink all over it pointing about grammar mistakes._

_4. Confessed face to face._

_Result? Kurt laughed for half an hour._

/

"This isn't working."

"Yeah, well, maybe if you hadn't fucked up twenty times already, Kurt would actually believe you're serious and not just testing the goddamn fucking waters, which, let's be real, is something you would totally do because you're such a dick and why am I even helping you?"

"Don't front, son, it ain't cute."

"Wow, that was embarrassing to watch."

"Blaine, I'm dying, okay. I'm literally dying as we speak and we're going back to New York in three days and Jason fucking whatever is going to be there and I lied earlier, okay? He's perfect. He's actually perfect."

"What does Kurt even see in you?"

"BLAINE."

/

Ultimately, it's Kurt himself who puts things right. Dramatic-confrontation-in-inconvinient-setting style.

After a whole day of embarrassing himself, Sebastian is invited to Kurt's closet for some face to face. He's positively thrilled about it. The excitement just increases as Kurt's switches off one of the lights, encasing everything except them both in darkness. Really, Sebastian fucking tickled by this turn of events.

"Well?" Kurt prompts, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

Sebastian's palms sweat and he wipes them on his jeans. He's so far from his element right now, he might as well be mute for all the help his mouth is going to do him here.

"Um, well. I was just-"

"I was just," Kurt mimics with totally exaggerated facial movements.

"I'm really sorrt that I-"

"I'm really sorry that I."

Well, that's quickly becoming the most annoying thing in the world.

"Just listen, Kurt, please," he says, stepping close and putting his hands on Kurt's tense shoulders. Kurt shakes them off, but keeps quiet.

"First of all, I'm sorry. I know the past few months haven't been a Disney World visit for you. I'm sorry about all the things I said to you and all the things I let you believe, but I've been a little bit in love with your psychotic ass since high school. I have a diary pretty much dedicated to my moping over you and you wouldn't believe the sort of sex dreams I've had about you," (Kurt doesn't seem impressed by the idea, so Sebastian quickly moves on), "Anyway, the point is, I'm in love with you and it took me a while to admit it to myself, but once I did, I couldn't stop myself from admitting it to you. Jeff says you deserve to be wooed and I suck at that shit, but whatever, I'll try if that's what you want. I'll woo the fucking shit out of you, Kurt."

Kurt looks beautiful in this weird, dim lighting and Sebastian is mortified of losing him. The fear grips him by the throat and makes his ears ring as Kurt struggles to form words that are sure to break Sebastian's dysfunctional heart in two.

"Wow, okay," Kurt croaks out, breathing out loudly and looking down at the floor before looking back up at Sebastian. "Least romantic speech ever, first of all. Second-"

Sebastian nearly chokes with relief as Kurt surges up to meet him in the sweetest, nicest kiss Sebastian has ever known.


End file.
